From cancel culture to overcorrecting culture, the world of clumsily trying to right perceived wrongs has become the kindling for the next society dumpster fire. But nothing is worse than the culture of panicky corporate rebrands. Welcome to Victoria’s Secret, the brand that needs a bra just to hold its gelatinous spine in place.
Because what is the hotly debated rebrand actually solving? Does it address the body dysmorphia running rampant on social media or the ubiquity of photoshopping that happens across fashion industry magazine covers and advertising?
While it arguably would have been easier to get existing Victoria’s Secret models to embrace healthier eating habits (or a donut) and promote better body image practices, the company decided to pull the plug on their old self and reboot. Not surprisingly, this isn’t the first time.
The company was originally founded by a dude named Roy Raymond who famously sold it to textile tycoon Leslie Wexner for a cool $1 million. Of course, Wexner turned it into a billion-dollar company while Raymond, depressed at his bad business sense, jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge.
All this to say, Victoria’s Secret has had its fair share of transformations over the years. So while the latest rebrand has been a total flop thus far, what comes next is anyone’s guess.
Unless you happen to be this article and are able to predict with 100 percent accuracy these eight unintended consequences of the controversial Victoria’s Secret corporate rebrand.
Cover Photo: TIMOTHY A. CLARY / Contributor (Getty Images)
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Victoria Secret Unintended Consequences
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Supermodels Take On Odd jobs
With runway work drying up, former supermodels will have to pivot toward new careers paths. Why do our pipes suddenly keep bursting?
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Prepubescent Boys Without Wifi Forced To Use Romance Novel Covers As
The surging demand for romance novels leads to a sudden jump in library card memberships. (And pages inexplicably stuck together.)
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Boomers Start Fighting Over The Last Remaining Catalogues
As the value of these highly collectible items skyrockets, so does the violence.
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Aliens Make Contact to Ask What Happened To The Angels
Furious and wondering what the hell is going on, aliens finally touch down on Earth.
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The World Goes Braless
Fine by us. Lingerie is so two centuries ago.
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Victoria's Secret Rebrands Again
This time, as a support group for men with cheating wives.
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Cats Around The World Stop Eating
The fact is, you never know what unintended consequences await the corporate rebrand.
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Tyra Banks Gets Another Talk Show
For humanity's sake, there must be another way. Let's get back to the drawing board people and find a better solution before it's too late.