Photo: tiktok.com/@david_rooney
If you’re anything like us, if you have a plan in your mind and your friends aren’t on board, it can be really difficult to get them to go along with you. A simple example is picking a restaurant or bar. Everyone has their own ideas of where to go, but you know your pick is the best. They have the best apps, the best draft beers, and the most TVs. To you, it seems like a no-brainer. The same thing goes for pretty much every argument. There’s no doubt that whenever you’re arguing with anyone (even if it’s the smallest argument in the world), you’re pretty sure you’re right. But, if you’re anything like us, you can’t always articulate why you’re right to the degree that you sway anyone. If only you were a trained FBI negotiator, everyone would bend to your whims.
While most of us aren’t trained FBI agents and have only heard about Quantico because of the TV show of the same name, we can still learn some basic negotiation skills thanks to TikToker David Rooney.
Rooney recently took to TikTok to share some tips he learned from former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss. The first surprise is something fans of The Office should be well aware of. It’s called “mirroring” and it’s exactly the tactic Andy Bernard used when he went to anger management.
@david_rooneyNegotiation technique from an FBI negotiator ##smallbusiness ##negotiation ##chrisvoss ##motivation ##businesstiktok♬ Send Me on My Way – Rusted Root
To take full advantage of “mirroring,” you have to pay close attention to the person you’re arguing with. You do this by repeating keywords from your conversation. This makes the listener believe they are being heard even if your final goal is to completely sweep them up into your plan.
“For example, if someone says, ‘I’m having a really hard time, I feel like I’m under a lot of financial pressure and a lot of stress at the moment,’ you could say back to them, ‘Financial pressure and stress?’” As Rooney explains. “By repeating phrases and words that they said, it shows that you’re empathizing with them. It also reduces tension and makes the other person feel like they’re being heard.”
This is the third time Rooney has shared FBI negotiation techniques on his TikTok account. A previous video included a technique to get anyone to say yes to any question you ask. If you really want to get your friends to go to that bar you like, you might want to watch that one too.
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