Muhammad Ali vs. Joe Frazier. Donald Trump vs. everyone. Godzilla vs. King Kong. Some matchups transcend time and space…or, in this case, the average amount of views on YouTube. It’s been over a week since Warner Bros. posted the Godzilla vs. Kong trailer—which surpassed 15 million views in its first 24 hours and now well past the numerical equivalent of middle-age.
Let’s be honest; no one cared about Legendary’s MonsterVerse until this “spectacular battle for the ages.” The last time Kong hit Gojira with a hard right was in Toho’s 1962 crossover film, King Kong vs. Godzilla. Back then, Kong was the clear underdog; losing two of three rounds before a lightning bolt turns him into Electro, helping him to defeat Godzilla. However, this was debated up until Toho released the movie’s official synopsis which confirmed Kong as the champion.
Regardless, these two powerhouses are at it again as Kong battles an angry Godzilla. Why is the monster so angry? Who knows. It might have something to do with Robinhood’s trading freeze. With electricity on Kong’s side and a slew of unknown variables in play, we pit ape against lizard to figure out who will win the rematch.
Cover Photo: Warner Bros.
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Whether you’re the Heavyweight Champion of the World, President of the United States, or King of the Monsters, nothing makes you invulnerable. While Godzilla’s strength, durability, and arsenal are greater than Kong’s, the Great Ape is smarter, faster, and more determined. Let’s face it, Kong is fighting for a little girl—no one has ever lost a fight defending the future. Plus, an impervious axe gives Kong the advantage over a villainous Godzilla—who will be beaten out of his antagonistic stupor. Lose or draw, the underdog always wins.
Overall Winner: King Kong
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Godzilla Kong
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Strength
This category makes Godzilla vs. Kong equatable to Ivan Drago vs. Rocky Balboa. It’s a mismatch. Kong wasn’t even fully grown in the previous film and, although he’s now older and wiser, Godzilla is undoubtedly much stronger than his furry adversary. Godzilla makes the Mutos look like children while simultaneously breaking the Golden Gate Bridge and taking on the military. With a lightning-bolt-induced final form, Kong will indeed be in trouble.
Winner: Godzilla
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Intellect
To all those with a propensity for skipping school: you are an ape. That’s not meant to sound derogatory, all human beings exist within the subgroup of primates known as great apes. That said, it’s only natural that the Great Ape would be the smarter of these two monsters (narcissism much?). In millions of years, Kong’s descendants will be doctors, professors, and lawyers. Godzilla may have an impressive arsenal but Kong has an impressive mind. The thinker creates weapons when backed into a corner like turning trees into bats or using chains against the Skullcrawlers on Skull Island. It’s his tactical mind that makes him a threat to other Titans—as seen by his axe in the Godzilla vs. Kong trailer.
Winner: Kong
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Durability
In Kong: Skull Island, the Great Ape never seemed to tire even when battling a giant octopus, taking out helicopters, getting cut, knocked out, and burnt by napalm. He’s one tough “SOB” with the punching power of Iron Mike. However, on top of having diamond-hard skin and weighing 90,000 tons, Godzilla can regenerate—he’s a supernatural tank (with the swimming prowess of a younger Michael Phelps) capable of withstanding nuclear meltdowns. Kong's body is not unlike ours; muscular (at least we were before quarantine) but fragile. Case closed. Game over. End of story...not really.
Winner: Godzilla
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Agility/Dexterity
Sorry Godzilla, your arms are laughable. Sure, you have a tail but by contrast, Kong is “swole” and better equipped to fight—punching, kicking, tackling, grappling, and dodging his opponents. As seen by Godzilla’s fight against King Ghidorah, the former does not do well against opponents with a longer reach. Godzilla is the type not allowed at Planet Fitness (although Kong wouldn’t be let in either).
Winner: Kong
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Atomic Breath
If you tire of Dragon Ball references (or have no idea what anime is), apologies. Godzilla’s Atomic Breath is the Kamehameha of the MonsterVerse. At its most effective, it’s a molecular-level blast capable of vaporizing the likes of King Ghidorah in Godzilla: King of the Monsters. In reality (except none of this is real...wait, do monsters exist?), Atomic Breath is almost a non-starter.
Winner: Godzilla
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Kong’s Axe
Kong’s axe will most likely be the game-changer. The trailer for Godzilla vs. Kong shows said axe but does not explain how he became in possession of the weapon or who fashioned it. Given his history, Vegas odds are on him having made it himself. The shape of the axe is reminiscent of Godzilla’s back spikes ergo Kong is a true savage and King who tore them from the spine of the former. This explains why the axe can withstand Godzilla’s Atomic Breath and will probably even be able to penetrate the lizard’s hide. Like electricity 50 years ago, Kong’s axe will likely be the trump card that turns the tide in favor of the King (which will/has left the building).
Winner: Kong
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A Puncher’s Chance
Bruce Buffer AKA the “Veteran Voice of the Octagon” once said, “a puncher's chance means that anyone has the potential to succeed, whatever the odds, if he or she works for it,” says Buffer. “Being the underdog is often the greatest strength.” 50 years ago, Kong was Japan’s underdog and champion. This time around, it appears he’s ours; equipped and capable, there’s no reason he won’t float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Winner: Kong
