Kids are cute. Unless they’re awful human beings. Those ones suck. But you probably have at least one of the naughty variety on your holiday shopping list and you’re going to have to buy a plastic piece of crap for them. Well, just in the nick of time, Boston-based World Against Toys Causing Harm (W.A.T.C.H.) Inc. has released its annual “10 Worst Toys of the Year” list.
“Although intended for fun and entertainment, many toys contain hidden hazards unnecessarily putting children at risk of injury or death,” a statement accompanying the list read. “Shockingly, classic toy dangers, such as small parts, strings, projectiles, toxic substances, rigid materials, and inaccurate warnings and labels, continue to reappear in new generations of toys putting children at risk,”
The 10 toys span the gamut, from seemingly cuddly creatures for 1-year-olds to seriously questionable weapons for older kids. One of them is bound to be the perfect gift for that rugrat that annoys the hell out of you. These are the top toys for bad little boys and girls, ranked!
Cover Photo: Amazon
Single bells: A Survival Guide For Getting Through the Holidays While Flying Solo
Bah, humbug: RANKED! 10 Worst Airports to Get Stuck in During the Holidays
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Top Toys Naughty Kids
-
10. Calico Critters Nursery Friends
The adorable little animals are meant for children 3 years old and up, but are “appealing to oral-age children.” They include tiny accessories, like hats, water bottles, and purses, that could be choking hazards.
-
9. Gloria Owl
The manufacturer says this toy is appropriate for children 12 months old and older, but seems to have forgotten that little ones put everything in their mouths. Gloria Owl is so cute and cuddly…until she starts shedding and some kid swallows her hair, resulting in a potential “ingestion or aspiration” injury.
-
8. My Sweet Love Lots to Love Babies Minis
A baby doll with her own feeding set. Looks innocent enough, right? But only until kids try to feed themselves – and end up with a tiny spoon stuck in their windpipe.
-
7. WWE Jumbo Superstar Fists
Because what kids need are bigger fists! (All the better to punch you with.) Deemed appropriate for children as young as 3 years old, just add a tantrum to suffer “blunt force or impact injuries.” A gift that keeps on giving indeed!
-
6. Scientific Explorer Sci-Fi Slime
Do you know how to make slime, kids? With chemicals! Let’s have fun exploring “eye, skin, and respiratory irritation” with these “GLOBS of gross gloppy goop!”
-
5. Star Wars Mandalorian Darksaber
Sorry, Star Wars fans. While in theory the ability to “swing for battle” with this “ancient, black bladed lightsaber” sounds awesome, it’s only a matter of time until little Timmy’s face gets slashed.
-
4. Marvel Avengers Vibranium Power FX Claw
It’s all fun and games and Black Panther hero-worship…until someone gets whacked in the face with this huge, hard plastic claw. Bonus points if you puncture a peeper.
-
3. The Original Boomerang Interactive Stunt UFO
Kids can perform “amazing stunts and tricks” with this dangerous little gizmo. Just start flinging it back and forth with your best frenemy and wait for someone’s hand, hair, or clothing to get caught in the propeller. Good times!
-
2. Boom City Racers Starter Pack
Get kids started on firecracker frenzy young with this stunt set that uses a ripcord launcher to rocket miniature vehicles to “rip, race, and explode!” What could go wrong?
-
1. Missile Launcher
Kids can launch a foam missile up to 75 feet with this slingshot-like device. The only problem? If they aim wrong, it could take out an eye.
