By now you know that Kanye West has announced his run for president in the 2020 election. Nevermind that he hasn’t actually filed any relevant paperwork, done any fundraising, or even declared a party affiliation. (Though he sure does love God these days.) The rapper with the biggest ego in history has thrown his hat in the ring, even if it is all just internet bluff, bluster, and bullshit. Let’s entertain his pledge (or is it a threat?) to join the race — and pretend that he could win. If you thought Trump abused his privileges as president to write some wackadoodle executive orders, just imagine what Kanye could come up with given a staff of yes men and all that political power. These are the 10 absurd executive orders we’d surely see during a Kanye presidency.
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Kanye Executive Orders
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The president will hereby wear a crown.
Hard-headed is the man who wears the crown. (That's how the saying goes, right?)
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All Confederate statues will be replaced with monuments to Kanye.
He can't wait to erect himself all over the nation.
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All federal employees will wear uniforms designed by Kanye.
This is the work perk you've all been waiting for.
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Kanye will hereby curate all art museums.
You have to admit it: dude's got good taste.
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The National Anthem will be rewritten as a rap.
And you will never, ever get it out of your head.
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All National Parks shall become property of the president.
With Kanye's real estate development team at the helm, get ready for the coolest affordable housing projects ever.
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Health insurance companies must cover makeup and skincare products.
But only from Kim's beauty line, of course.
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Weekly attendance at Sunday Service shall be mandatory for all citizens.
Don't try to be slick and skip out; God knows your name even if Ye doesn't.
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The Pledge of Allegiance will be replaced by a daily motivational speech from Kanye.
Give the children patience, oh Lord.
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Kanye will reserve the right to take away the mic from any white person at any time. No apologies necessary.
We actually agree with him on this one. It's about motherfucking time.