By now you know that Kanye West has announced his run for president in the 2020 election. Nevermind that he hasn’t actually filed any relevant paperwork, done any fundraising, or even declared a party affiliation. (Though he sure does love God these days.) The rapper with the biggest ego in history has thrown his hat in the ring, even if it is all just internet bluff, bluster, and bullshit. Let’s entertain his pledge (or is it a threat?) to join the race — and pretend that he could win. If you thought Trump abused his privileges as president to write some wackadoodle executive orders, just imagine what Kanye could come up with given a staff of yes men and all that political power. These are the 10 absurd executive orders we’d surely see during a Kanye presidency.
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Kanye Executive Orders
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The president will hereby wear a crown.
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All Confederate statues will be replaced with monuments to Kanye.
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All federal employees will wear uniforms designed by Kanye.
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Kanye will hereby curate all art museums.
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The National Anthem will be rewritten as a rap.
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All National Parks shall become property of the president.
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Health insurance companies must cover makeup and skincare products.
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Weekly attendance at Sunday Service shall be mandatory for all citizens.
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The Pledge of Allegiance will be replaced by a daily motivational speech from Kanye.
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Kanye will reserve the right to take away the mic from any white person at any time. No apologies necessary.