With all the buzzing of things not happening in the President Trump impeachment trial, another American pig stands trial to face his accusers at the same time: Harvey Weinstein. Coincidence? Or just a hell of a week for disgusting pigs?
In what seems like a convenient two-birds, one-week scumbag fire sale for the blatantly guilty kind of a week, the Harvey Weinstein trial has actually taken a backseat on all the major headline news sources, including late-night television, which usually loves nothing more than to poke fun at the man who (allegedly, oh come on) assaulted many of their own. As the Trump trial moves ahead with (currently) no new evidence, no subpoenas to key witnesses and no Trump himself (off in his own personal Switzerland, literally), several acts of treason are becoming more and more likely to go unatoned for, while Weinstein, on the other hand, bends over and takes it for once before a likely sentencing.
Trump has even admitted to knowing Weinstein, citing “I’ve known him for years. I’m not at all surprised.” If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black (or a word we’re not allowed to use that most people use to replace the word “black”), well then, we’re not quite sure what is.
Today, the rape trial brought Sopranos actress Annabella Sciorra to the stand to face her assailant, and we hope for a quick and relatively painless resolve, since we know the other trial will likely have little to no justice. If that’s not weird enough for you, enjoy some of the best weird news stories of the month so far below.
Cover: Mark Wilson/Staff (Getty Images), Paul Bruinooge/Contributor (Getty Images)
Harvey Weinstein Faces 4 New Counts of Sexual Assault, Not Including All the Houseplants He Defiled
Weird News 1.13.20
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Meanwhile in Florida: Naked Man Steals Car From Valet, Wasn’t Planning on Leather Seats
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Dumpster Dive: Investigation Discovers Amazon Third-Party Sellers Who Repackage Actual Trash
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Lonesome Dog Sets Kitchen on Fire, Likely Strategic Play After a Year of the Exact Same Meal
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Robert De Niro’s Assistant Denies Bingeing on ‘Friends’ During Work, Maintains She Was ‘On a Break’
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Meanwhile in Florida: Bus Evacuated After Teen Hot-Boxes It With Axe Body Spray, Coins New Term ‘Douchebus’
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Instagram Model Raises $1M In Nudes For Australian Wildfire Relief (What Are You Willing to Do?)
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Carnival Cruise Ships Collide in Titanic Fashion, Because When Has Anything Good Ever Happened on a Cruise?
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Meanwhile in Florida: Mom Leaves Kids on Bus to Smoke Weed, Alternative Parenting Style Denied
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Meanwhile in America: Dumbass Caught Robbing Bank After Ironic Social Media Post About Making It ‘Look Easy’
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Company With Period Badges For Female Employees Under Fire, People Aren’t Going With the Flow
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Meanwhile in Florida: Woman ‘Accidentally’ Gifts Semi-Automatic Rifle at Baby Shower, Completely Blows Away Karen’s Baby Yoga Mat
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Harvey Weinstein Faces 4 New Counts of Sexual Assault in Los Angeles, Not Including All Houseplants He Defiled
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The Biggest Headlines of 2019 That We Already Forgot About