Well, that was interesting. Like every year, the 2020 Golden Globes was full of funny, touching, and awkward moments — and we haven’t even gotten to the acceptance speeches yet. The winners are only given a limited amount of time to thank everyone and say all the things they’ve ever wanted to say since they were little kids: “Thank you, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and cousin Vinny.” This year, instead of focusing on themselves (or fictional characters played by Joe Pesci), a lot of the winners drew attention to various things happening in our society (although some still went the traditional route). We’ve ranked the best of those tender moments while ignoring Ricky Gervais’ gold standard for speeches: accept your award, thank your agent and your god, and fuck off.
Cover Photo: Kevin Winter / Staff (Getty Images)
Who and Wear: The Best Dressed Celebrities to Walk the Red Carpet at the 2020 Golden Globes
More Globes: 14 Edgy Outfits of the 2020 Golden Globes (And a Few Fashion Statements That Should Have Stayed Home)
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The Best Speeches Globes
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12. Russell Crowe, Best Actor in a Limited Series or TV Movie For 'The Loudest Voice'
Russell Crowe wasn't actually in attendance at the Globes (because of the bushfire crisis in Australia) but he left a message to be read in his absence:
“Make no mistake, the tragedy unfolding in Australia is climate change-based. We need to act based on science, move our global workforce to renewable energy, and respect our planet for the unique and amazing place it is. That way we all have a future.”
You can watch Jennifer Aniston read those words here.
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11. Joaquin Phoenix, Best Actor in a Drama For 'Joker'
Joaquin Phoenix's message was full of heart...and F-bombs. His speech lacked some direction but not emphasis:
“Contrary to popular belief, I don’t want to rock the boat, but the boat is fucking rocked.”
Check that out here.
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10. Awkwafina, Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical For 'The Farewell'
Awkwafina made history with her win, becoming the first-ever woman of Asian descent to win in the category.
“This is great. Thank you. If anything, if I fall upon hard times, I can sell this. So that’s good."
Watch her thank her dad here.
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9. Bong Joon Ho, Best Foreign Language Film For 'Parasite'
Bong Joon Ho's film won the Golden Globe for Best Foreign Language Film and he had something timeless to say about the genre:
“Once you overcome the 1-inch-tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films."
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8. Stellan Skarsgård, Best Supporting Actor in a Limited Series For 'Chernobyl'
The Skarsgård clan continued their subtle domination of Hollywood when Stellan Skarsgård won for Chernobyl. He was sure to thank his hair, prosthetics, and makeup designer Daniel Parker for giving him the one thing he has always felt he lacked:
“For this film, Daniel Parker made me a couple of eyebrows," said Skarsgård before doing his best impression of The Rock (that no one noticed) and exiting the stage.
Check that speech out here.
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7. Olivia Coleman, Best Actress in a Drama Series For 'The Crown'
Olivia Coleman proved to be all of us (once again) when she humbly accepted her award for The Crown:
“I don’t know what to say because I already got a little bit boozy because I thought this wasn’t going to happen.”
Bend the knee to her majesty here.
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6. Ramy Youssef, Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy Series For 'Ramy'
Ramy Youssef's acceptance speech was the first of the night, directly following Ricky Gervais' aforementioned gold standard for speech-making. Youssef took to the stage and said, "I would like to thank my God. Allahu akbar. Thanks to God and Hulu.” He then acknowledged that most of the people in the room probably didn't know who he was. ("Is this an editor?")
Relive the humorous and low-key brilliant moment here.
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5. Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Best Musical or Comedy Series For 'Fleabag'
Phoebe Waller-Bridge's Fleabag won big. In the show's second win of the night (the first being Best Actress – Television Series Musical or Comedy), Waller-Bridge included a subtle masturbation joke in her acceptance speech:
"I have to thank Obama for putting us on his list [of favorite books, movies, and more of 2019]. Personally, he's always been on mine. And if you don't get that, watch season one of Fleabag."
Check that speech out here.
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4. Brad Pitt, Best Supporting Actor For 'Once Upon a Time in Hollywood'
Brad Pitt single-handedly changed the way the world will forever refer to Leonardo DiCaprio; he called him LDC.
"I also have to thank my partner in crime, LDC. Before The Revenant, I used to watch, you know, year after year his costars accept awards and thank him profusely. I know why. He’s an all-star, he’s a gent, and I wouldn’t be here without you and I thank you. Still, I would have shared the raft." (It was a door.)
He ended his speech by saying he couldn't bring his mom because everyone would think she's his girlfriend and then advised everyone to do something nice.
So, yeah. Brad Pitt, everyone.
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3. Tom Hanks, Cecil B. DeMille Award
Tom Hanks gave what was easily the longest speech of the night and, of course, no one cared. He made fun of Love Boat, thanked his family, and cried.
“A man is blessed with a family sitting down front like that, a wife who is fantastic in every way, who has taught me what love is, five kids who are braver and stronger and wiser than their old man is.”
He also made a Jackie Chan reference (which was kind of insulting to Jackie Chan). However, 30 minutes later, he dropped the mic.
Get your popcorn ready and watch it here.
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2. Michelle Williams, Best Actress in a Limited Series or TV Movie For 'Fosse/Verdon'
Michelle Williams got extraordinarily real with her acceptance speech. It makes our list for easily being the most impassioned. Here's an extraordinary long excerpt:
"When you put this in someone's hands, you're acknowledging the choices they make as an actor. Moment by moment, scene by scene, day by day. But you're also acknowledging the choices they make as a person. The education they pursued, the training they sought, the hours they put in. I'm grateful for the acknowledgment of the choices I've made and I'm also grateful to have lived in a moment in our society where choice exists because as women and as girls, things can happen to our bodies that are not our choice," Williams began. "I've tried my very best to live a life of my own making and not just a series of events that happened to me. But one that I could stand back and look at and recognize my handwriting all over. Sometimes messy and scrawling, sometimes careful and precise. But one that I had carved with my own hand. And I wouldn't have been able to do this without employing a woman's right to choose."
Check that out here.
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1. Ellen DeGeneres, Carol Burnett Award
What Ellen DeGeneres said she liked about the award she was receiving is that she knew it was coming. She also mentioned how she could go on and on talking if she wanted...but she wouldn't do that (but she did, jokingly). Her conclusion was appropriately poignant:
"All I ever wanted to do was make people feel good and laugh. There's no greater feeling than when someone tells me that I made their day better with my show. People watch my show and then they're inspired to go out and do the same thing in their own lives. They make people laugh or be kind or help someone less fortunate than themselves. That is the power of television."
DeGeneres' well-balanced and heartfelt speech (which was by far the funniest) can be viewed here.
