The fifth and final season of The Affair is upon us, but what good is the Showtime show without half of its cast (arguably the better half)? With the season 4 exit of (spoiler ahead!) Alison (Ruth Wilson) after reported trouble on set, the series finale will also wrap up the story of Noah Solloway and Helen without the help of series star Joshua Jackson, Wilson’s love interest. Instead, we’re getting a lengthy time jump in which Anna Paquin plays Wilson’s daughter all grown-up to the same age as when she passed (her late 30s), which means the show is getting a…30-plus-year time jump? Along with a handful of more new side characters and a bit more spotlight on Noah’s kids (3 of 4 we couldn’t give fewer shits about), it sounds like the show about infidelity is cheating us and couldn’t be happier to be dead and buried. Rightfully so, the show could have wrapped after two seasons with the murder of Scott Lockhart, but this final chapter (even though the show says it’s the end of a chapter, no, it’s the end of the book, dummies) feels like a separate and forced ending to Dominic West’s character, who nobody really likes anyway. Swap for Joshua Jackson and just start a “Mighty Ducks” TV show already, Showtime. Goddamn!
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Weird News Listicle 8-12-2019
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Comedian Plants Fake Products On Store Shelves, Hilarity Ensues
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Serial Toilet Clogger Finally Flushed Out (and Other Ridiculous Crimes Committed)
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There’s a Museum Dedicated to Poop and It Promises a Crappy Time
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Trump Plastic Straws Give Supporters Two Birds-One Chance to Pledge Allegiance and Destroy Oceans
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Woman Set to Marry 91-Year-Old Chandelier, Cannot Hold a Candle to Her Love
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