I would like to take this time to personally thank Christina Aguilera and her enormous boobs for not wearing a bra when leaving her hotel in Paris a few days ago. These days we hear so many horror stories about guys leaving bars with the girl of their wet dreams only to wake up to nothing but disappointment and a water bra. It’s like it’s not even safe for a man to leave his house at night anymore. So men, hug your pillow and sleep well tonight knowing that Christina and her tits are out there fighting. For us.
Injustice DLC Wish list
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1. Hawkman
If Injustice needs anything, it’s more chest hair, wings, maces and dudes that hate Nazis with a fiery passion. Hawkman checks off all of those boxes. Injustice is a brutal game with a brutal cast, and no one is more brutal than Hawkman. Okay, not counting our next entry that is...
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2. Orion
Some of the New Gods might be in Injustice as cameos, but we want to play as one. Specifically, we want to play as the biggest badass of them all - Darkseid’s son, Orion. How badass is he? He makes an interdimensional Segway look dope as hell.
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3. Brainiac
It’s honestly shocking Brainiac didn’t make the original cut. He’s arguably Superman’s greatest foe (Sorry, Lex!), and in recent years has been given a makeover in the comics to make him appear more thuggish, which nicely fits the tone NetherRealm is going for with Injustice.
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4. General Zod
Speaking of great Superman villains... General Zod makes sense as DLC solely because it’s a perfect marketing opportunity to synergize between Injustice and the upcoming Man of Steel flick. Make one costume look like Terence Stamp from Superman II and the other Michael Shannon from Man of Steel. Print money.
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5. Swamp Thing
Swamp Thing has taken center stage thanks to DC's rebooted universe, the New 52. He’s the protector of the Green, and would make for one awesome playable character, as he could call upon plant life to aid him in battle.
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6. Animal Man
Where Swamp Thing is protected by the Green, Animal Man is aided by the Red. Animal Man is able to harness the unique abilities of whatever animal(s) are within his proximity, granting him the strength of an ant, the speed of a cheetah and so on. This could make the character quite the unpredictable foe.
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7. Booster Gold
Right now, Green Arrow is the only comic relief character in Injustice. Booster would change that. We would also love to see his best buddy Blue Beetle pop on screen with a “BWAHAHA” after Booster pulls off his special move, as a tribute to the classic MK “toasty!” gag. Oh, and we need Skeets to appear too!
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8. Scandal Savage
Right now you’re probably wondering where the ladies are at. Well, here you go. Let’s replace Vandal Savage with his cutthroat daughter, Scandal. She’s the leader of a badass group of DC antihero mercenaries known as the Secret Six. In fact, if her special move called in the entire Secret Six team to assist her, it would be amazing. We say this simply to get a Catman and Deadshot cameo in there somewhere.
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9. Black Manta
Aquaman got his day in the sun with Injustice. We love that. But Aquaman’s rogues gallery was sadly nowhere to be seen. Enter: Black Manta. He’s Aquaman’s true nemesis and quite the ruthless killer, making him a perfect fit for this game.
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10. Deadman
Deadman would be Injustice’s equivalent of Shang Tsung from Mortal Kombat, able to mimic the abilities of the person he’s going toe to toe with. And like Booster Gold, he would add some much needed comic relief to the title.
