Jessica Biel is Back on the Market

 

My insane crush on Jessica Biel has been consuming me for about two weeks now, so it’s no surprise that I find out today that she has split with her boyfriend, actor Chris Evans, after a little more than two years. No word on the official reason or who dumped who, but apparently my genie has a sense of humor because Evans has been spotted in New York City with PR executive Joyce Sevilla (this foxy lady). At least I think she’s a PR executive. Unless PR executives look like the lady who yelled at me yesterday for not using a clean plate at the Korean buffet, I really can’t say for sure. What I can say for sure is that Jessica is going to love the pictures I sent her. Sorry I couldn’t fit the whole thing in one picture, Jessica. That’s why the rest is on the second picture. Uh, huh. That’s right, baby.

I swear this is all this woman ever does:

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