Papa Joe is Still Pimpin’

Naturally, when I first saw these pictures of Ashlee Simpson hanging out in Australia, I thought that was Jessica Simpson standing next to her. Then, upon further investigation, I realized it was Papa Joe Simpson and thus considered clearing my schedule and masturbating for the rest of the day. Mmm, that “I’m a young, cool, hip dad” Ed Hardy shirt complete with “forgot to suck it in” gut, the “hair’s not quite long enough to pull off this style” cut, the intentional “cool guy” two day beard growth, the same “bought these stupid, overpriced jeans with the holes in them” jeans Jessica wears every day, and last but not least, the man boobs and their perky nips. Alas, sadly, I am out of D batteries, and the last time I used AA batteries it took me three days to get them back.