Photo: Tim Roney (Getty)
When it comes to the ’90s, there’s a disgusting number of infectious songs and music videos that bring up a lot of repressed memories (“Everything I Do (I Do It For You”), life lessons (“Mo Money, Mo Problems”) and pent-up anger (“All Star”). With that said, we’ve collected 15 staple ’90s music videos that explain way too much about how weird we all turned out. If these don’t strike a chord, your mother must’ve banned MTV from your living room (or you ate dinner alone in the basement).
Why Man Buns Eventually Became a Trend
Three teenager brothers with long hair? My mother would call that poor parenting, but it’s no surprise that it eventually snowballed into sumo-wrestling style hair-dos. Sadly, that’s not even the worst hairstyle yet.
Why White Guys Are So Fond of Flat-Rimmed Hats
Anybody who still uses the word “fly” is either living in the ’90s or has zero friends, possibly both. There is a 100-percent chance they still have a wallet chain, hoop earrings and some sort of beaded necklaces (2 out of 3 for sure).
Why We Love the Puff But Not Diddy
It’s true Sean, money does tend to bring more problems with it. Is that why you keep changing your name, to avoid bill collectors? Or is that because you go by a different name when you sellout on reality TV? Does it depress you that Kanye is more popular even when he’s mentally unstable?
Why Oasis Had to Break Up
We grew up on Oasis so it wasn’t easy to watch the bitter Brits break. We assume it’s because everybody kept saying Blur was better (which they were not!).
Why We Had to Eventually Try Sex and Drugs
Stephan Jenkins threw a lot of lyrics at us very quickly, but from what we understand, crystal meth and sex make one hell of a combination.
Why We Still Try to Buy Drinks Well After Last Call
I love when bars put this song on at the end of the night. It’s a clear sign to never return there again. Still, I’ll try to order five Coronas and as many shots, only to take one shot, puke and leave the rest, along with my credit card before stumbling to Taco Bell. Then I do the same thing when they close.
Why We Still Don’t Know How to Talk to Girls
Gwen was able to play the role of punker girl, tomboy and classic blonde beauty without batting an eye. Yet someone when I put on red plaid pants, pigtails and a shirt I ripped the sleeves off of, I look my grandma in drag.
Why We Refuse to Buy Barbies for Our Kids
One listen, and it’s stuck in your head for all eternity, which is great for Aqua since they never had another song worth listening to. No child of mine will ever call herself a Barbie girl, or I’m ripping the heads off all her dolls.
Why Parents Discourage Kids From Taking Drama Class
The term “manhood” is constantly being reignited by feminism today, not like it was 20 years ago when our dads sipped their beer in quiet disappointment and avoided eye contact when we told him we wanted to join the school theater group.
Why Nobody Goes Chasing Waterfalls Anymore
Honestly, I’ve never chased a waterfall in my life, and I’m pretty sure I’d know if my friends had thanks to #tbt and other social media opportunities that have challenged our friendships. Still, I don’t chase them, even if they’re particularly small, slow-moving waterfalls.
Why Ice Cream Trucks Were Discontinued
Any ice cream truck who thought they were being trendy by playing this song on repeat while they scooted around the neighborhoods was kindly asked to stop by most Neighborhood Watch programs. That doesn’t make me want an ice cream sandwich any less.
Why Chumbawambas Are Outlawed in 49 of the Tubthumping States & Why Everyone Hates Florida
We’ll gladly go out of our way to connect hatred to Florida whenever we see an opening. Can you blame us?
Why Nobody Uses the Term ‘Lover’ in America
When a French man calls a woman his lover, everyone melts, but when I do it, it sounds uber creepy. Almost as creepy as my Uber driver calling me his lover right before I get out. But we still love how adults try to relate to at least one of these spice women. Can’t wait until they’re called Spice Elders.
Why We Quit Listening to the Radio
You name a Smash Mouth song, and I will confirm any sensible person’s disgust for both it and the disgusting ass who sings it. If you karaoke it, may god have mercy on your pathetic soul.
