Photo: TriStar Pictures
Before you knew it, so many of your favorite movie plots drastically changed over the course of your life. When you were young, you took everything at face value. Then you got older, and everything went south,
Back in the day, Ghostbusters was all about busting ghosts, just like the title promised. So we wore our khaki jumpsuit (daily) until the knees gave out, played with slime (we think it was slime, at least) and applied to bust ghosts part-time (that really happened). But then you “grew up,” learned a few dirty jokes and now all of a sudden it’s not about busting ghosts so much anymore. It’s about dickless men, dogs and cats living together; mass hysteria! OK, we didn’t grow up that much. We’re still checking for job openings (daily).
What we’re saying is that some of our favorite films have taken on new meaning with time. Whether it’s coming-of-age tales like Stand by Me and Almost Famous or our favorite classic comedies. We recommend you join us on this little movie adventure where we check the evolution of our cinematic experiences. One thing is for sure, though: We still don’t know what the hell Vanilla Sky is about. All we know is there’s Jeff Buckley and cum references with Cameron Diaz and Penelope Cruz, so we’re in.
Things have changed: 10 Famous Film Love Scenes That Would Be Totally Creepy Today
Plot Change Movies
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"Ghostbusters"
When you were young: It was about busting ghosts, and Sigourney Weaver was a crazy possessed woman.
Now that you're older: It's all about Bill Murray's dirty jokes about Sigourney Weaver's possessed body. But bustin' still makes me feel good. And Bill is still the coolest.
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"Dazed and Confused"
When you were young: Ben Affleck was a dick who would beat your ass.
Now that you're older: Ben Affleck dresses up like a superhero and gets bad reviews. McConaughey is still good, though.
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"Vanilla Sky"
When you were young: Tom Cruise's face is fucked up and he keeps meowing.
Now that you're older: Tom Cruise is a delusional scientologist.
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"The Money Pit"
When you were young: Owning a house looks like a lot of work.
Now that you're older: You'd have to be out of your goddamn mind to buy an old house.
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"Hook"
When you were young: I want be a Lost Boy and fly with Peter and battle Captain Hook and have fake food fights.
Now that you're older: Pan is dead, the Lost Boys are obese and Dustin Hoffman is apparently sexually aggressive.
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"Almost Famous"
When you were young: I'm going to be a in rock band and have pretty girls like Anna Paquin deflower me in their cotton undies.
Now that you're older: The radio sucks, Jason Lee is too old to do a Mall Rats sequel and Philip Seymour Hoffman died before we were smart enough to fully appreciate him. Also, Anna who?
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"Space Jam"
When you were young: I'm going to be just like Mike.
Now that you're older: I am the giant, talentless sloth MJ walks on top of. But Bill Murray is still the coolest.
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"Stand by Me"
When you were young: We're going to be best buds for life, no matter what the grown-ups tell us. And dead bodies rule.
Now that you're older: I haven't seen any of my friends in 8 months and I get queasy watching CSI: Miami.
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"The Burbs"
When you were young: The neighbors are creepy, but Corey Feldman is awesome.
Now that you're older: The neighbors aren't so creepy, but Corey Feldman definitely is. Bruce Dern is the man though, especially in this film.
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"Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back"
When you were young: Luke and Leia kissed, but they're brother and sister. Gross!
Now that you're older: Meh, I've done a lot worse.
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In case you didn't catch that
Seriously though, if that clip from Hook didn't quite grab you...
