Photo: NBC
Well, 2017 kind of blew, even more than 2016 somehow, but we’re hopeful that 2018 has some things for us that we sorely miss, starting with affordable healthcare. Yeah, right.
Depending on how badly you binge, there’s a decent chance that there’s a TV reunion, reboot or rock tour hanging in the hopeful bounds of your life, and maybe this will be the year it comes to fruition. Or maybe it’ll linger in nonexistence, kind of like affordable healthcare.
From overdue entertainment to our need for nostalgic ’90s moments, we hope 2018 is littered with everything herein, which we’re ranking right here for you. You won’t want to miss our top pick, which is not only incredibly specific but totally up for “grabs,” so to speak, this year and this year alone. Don’t worry, it has nothing to do with anyone’s pu**y. Or does it?
Ranking the 10 things we hope for in 2018 that we sorely miss, we’re starting off strong in this slideshow with clowns, the kind you can bring to a birthday party.
Ranking The 10 Things We Hope 2018 Has In Store For Us That We Sorely Miss
And for a few other things we miss: Where the Hell the Original Cast of ‘The Office’ Is These Days
2018 Needs
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10. Trustworthy Clowns
After the return of It, I think we could all use a clown we can trust.
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9. Overdue TV Reunion
It's been 14 years already. Dammit, Matthew Perry, your cast-mates aren't getting any prettier.
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8. Return of The Smiths
Dear Morrissey and Mr. Marr, everybody wants it. Why won't you just give it to us?! It's been 30 years since the split, but it's been teased for a decade, especially the last couple years. It's not impossible, according to The Smiths frontmen.
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7. Long-Awaited Sequels
Well, the Ghostbusters long-awaited sequel didn't quite pan out like we hoped, but maybe we could get another Step Brothers since we're running out of ideas. Or Wayne's World, if Mike Myers weren't dead (to us).
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6. Creepy Crawlers
Honestly, I don't know. But it wouldn't leave my mind once it popped in there.
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5. Actual, Physical Video Stores
Weekend nights in used to start with going out and wandering aimlessly at walls covered in multiple covers of the same movie, just before buying a ton of teeth-rotting candy and racking up late fees. Now we just wander Netflix for hours without committing.
Whatever happened to being a loser in public?
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4. Affordable Healthcare
If it's anything like our new taxes, we might as well just shoot each other now.
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3. Saturday Morning Shows Worth Getting Up For
We can't remember the last time we were excited to get up early, especially on a Saturday. Goddammit, we didn't grow up! We just need better shows.
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2. TGIF
There was something magical about TGIF, long before people started hash-tagging. We miss the Winslows, Tanners (the old ones), Fosters and even the Urk-man, too. Seems we need them now more than ever.
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1. A Justin Timberlake Super Bowl Halftime Boob Grab
It sounds oddly specific, but it's been 14 years since we got to see our first TV titty grab, turning JT from a boy band baby into a grown-ass man who occasionally assaults women.
Well, in 2018, we get the chance to relive the glory, but maybe it'll be a little less Matt Lauer-esque. Too soon? Nah.
