Photo: johnnyscriv (Getty)
It looks as though some lonely ladies’ Christmases are going to be merrier than others.
According to the Daily Mail, there is a new vibrator on the market that is not only a “body-adapting sex toy thanks to a mechanism in the rubber skin that bends it to fit the user’s body shape,” but it’s also a holiday iPod of sorts, as it will give you a vibration pattern that mirrors your favorite Christmas song while you jackhammer yourself.
That’s right, kids. What was once just a dream of listening to “O Tannenbaum” while giving yourself the “big O” is now a reality thanks to the Crescendo. “Controlled by an app, traditional tunes like ‘Jingle Bells,’ ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ and ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ all provide a unique pattern that helps the user to really jingle all the way.”
The Crescendo is made be MysteryVibe, whose “co-founder and chief pleasure officer” Stephanie Alys took to the streets to see if the average person wanted to hold a sex toy in their hands and guess which Christmas song was vibrating throughout their bodies. Naturally, the results were nothing short of hysterical.
This Vibrator Will ‘Play’ Your Favorite Christmas Song While You Diddle Yourself
“Love them or hate them, Christmas songs ignite a sense of excitement and joy in us all,” Alys said. “So we thought, imagine if we coupled that with the feeling of an intense orgasm?!”
That’s terrific. At least some ladies this Christmas will finally find out the meaning behind “Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus.” It’s just that it will cost them $179 to figure it out.
