Is it too soon for Christmas movies? Well, too late. Bad Santa 2 is coming, and it looks just as foul-mouthed and cynical as the original comedy classic from 2003.
Billy Bob Thornton is back as Willie, an alcoholic mall Santa Claus who robs his stores blind on Christmas Eve. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Willie, but it looks like little has changed. He’s drunk, he’s bitter, and he’s knocking over a charity during the holiday season. This time he’s even bringing his mother along, played by Kathy Bates, who looks like she’s ever bit a match for Bad Santa 2‘s titular “Bad Santa.”
Also: Seven Christmas Movies That Will RUIN Your Christmas
Of course, the winter season isn’t just about Christmas. It’s also about the Oscars, so why not combine them both? In this exclusive preview of Bad Santa 2, a case is made that this film and its Oscar-winning cast are just as deserving of little gold statues as any of the serious dramas currently coming out in theaters. It just so happens that this particular preview has NSFW language, sex in alleyways and – unfortunately for Willie – crabs.
Watch the exclusive clip, and check out Bad Santa 2 in theaters November 23, 2016.
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The Top 50 Must See Christmas Movies
Top Photo: Broad Green Pictures
The 50 Best Christmas Movies Ever Made
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50. Nutcracker: The Motion Picture (1986)
Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite is an inextricable piece of Christmas for me, as my family has participated in live productions of it for decades (my own mother regularly played Mother Ginger). The famous ballet has been adapted to the screen numerous times over the decades, usually in the form of filmed stage productions. The 1986 cinema version of The Nutcracker is the best film version I have seen, adapting the production by the Pacific Northwest Ballet, including a dreamlike Persian reinterpretation of the traditional images as designed by Maurice Sendak.
Best Christmas Moment: When Clara first discovers the Nutcracker hiding in the Christmas tree. There's something magical about that little moment that I still remember.
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49. The Bells of St. Mary's (1945)
Father O’Malley (Bing Crosby) and Sister Benedict (Ingrid Bergman) can’t agree on how to run their impoverished inner city Catholic School, but over the course of The Bells of St. Mary’s they each learn a thing or two, and jerk their fair share of tears. Bergman shadow boxes, Crosby croons, and cute little moppets put on an absolutely adorable Christmas pageant in Leo McCarey’s wonderful ode to kind hearts and hopeful prayers, which even comes with its own silly, crowd-pleasing miracle.
Best Christmas Moment: Bing Crosby leads a group of nuns in a lovely, solemn rendition of the title song (now a Christmas standard), but he just can’t resist the urge to add a little sass at the end.
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48. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
This is actually not the strangest Christmas film ever (see #28 for that), but it's way up there. This 1964 nugget of mind-bending stupidity has one of the weirdest premises of any movie: Green-faced Martians must kidnap Santa Claus so that he may serve Mars instead of Earth. Santa Claus is a curious folk hero to put on a spaceship, but put him on a spaceship they shall. The ultimate message is that Santa's Christmas joy can overcome even the evil Voldar, and the lazy Droppo. So I guess it's a sweet one to take in on Christmas anyway. Provided you're really, really high.
Best Christmas Moment: When Santa actually gets the drop on a Martian ruler, and laughs heartily with the children.
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47. Millions (2004)
From Danny Boyle, the director of Slumdog Millionaire, comes this underseen but overwhelmingly wonderful Christmas gem, about a pair of young boys who come across over £200,000 just before Britain switches over to the Euro on Christmas. With just a few days left to spend it, they struggle between fulfilling their fantasies or giving it all to the unfortunate. Boyle’s magical direction and a wholesome religious angle - featuring cameos by Catholic saints offering guidance - make Millions a beautiful, unexpected present for audiences everywhere.
Best Christmas Moment: St. Joseph lends his unique expertise to the school nativity play, calling into question just how many of Millions’ fantastical elements are actually fantasies.
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46. Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)
It’s 1904, and the Smith family has the world’s most adorable worries: marriage, parties, and the five fatal illnesses affecting the youngest daughter’s dolls. Everything is just about perfect until the Smith’s idyllic household is rocked by - gasp! - the news that they’re moving to New York. Old-fashioned sentiment, snowman homicides and one classic number after another, sung by Judy Garland like there’s no tomorrow.
Best Christmas Moment: Margaret O’Brien doesn’t know if Santa Claus will find their house in New York, so Garland sings her a heart-pummeling “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” Try not to cry. I dare you.
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45. The Shop Around the Corner (1940)
Two employees at a department store tackle the harrowing Christmas rush and bicker mercilessly at each other, neither one realizing that they’re secretly pen pals, and totally in love. Ernst Lubitsch’s love note to the families that form at small businesses boasts absolutely lovable performances from James Stewart and Margaret Sullavan, who make pure magic together. The Shop Around the Corner was remade as You Got Mail, or - as I like to call it - “the stinky version.”
Best Christmas Moment: Poor Mr. Matuschek, alone at Christmas, fishing for an invitation to dinner, finally finding someone with whom to spend the holidays.
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44. The Santa Clause (1994)
Tim Allen brought his “tool man” schtick to the North Pole as a divorced father, Scott Calvin (S.C., get it?), who accidentally causes Santa to fall off his roof and die. To save Christmas, Calvin becomes Santa Claus, only the job isn’t a temp position. He fully transforms into a jolly fat, bearded man with weight he can’t lose and hair he can’t shave. All sarcasm aside, becoming Santa Claus does bring him closer to his son and makes him a better father.
Best Christmas Moment: Calvin, interrogated by the police, lists all the mythological names of Santa Claus to the cops before an epic prison break led by the elves.
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43. Fred Claus (2007)
What if Santa Claus (Paul Giamatti) had a brother that we never heard about? Wouldn’t it be hard to live in the shadow of your brother when your brother is Saint Frigging Nicolas? That is the question asked by this Vince Vaughn comedy. It has a real message about sibling rivalry. When his brother is supernaturally perfect, Fred (Vaughn) would be desperate to prove himself and end up embarking on losing schemes. Good just isn’t good enough compared to Santa. It’s also before “Vince Vaughn: Party Animal” had gotten old.
Best Christmas Moment: I’m gonna go poignant and say the moment when Fred tells Nick, “I don’t hate you. I just wish you’d never been born.” Think about it.
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42. A Christmas Carol (1984)
This film wasn't theatrically released in America, but it did get a run in England, so it counts. Although Alastair Sim is the Platonic ideal of Ebenezer Scrooge (and you'll see him further up on this list), George C. Scott is one of my favorites. Of the hundreds of Scrooges that have appeared in films, Scott is the first one that seems to be operating on rage and suspicion rather than mere pewey snippiness. Scott can be warm, but he's better when he's thick skinned. That makes his redemption all the more meaningful.
Best Christmas Moment: I'm fond of the entire Ghost of Christmas Present sequence.
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41. Arthur Christmas (2011)
If you ever wondered how Santa Claus visits every house in the world in one night, Arthur Christmas explains it. All it takes is billions of dollars worth of high-tech computer systems and an army of ninja elves. But when the fancy new system overlooks a little girl, only Santa’s gangly, naive son Arthur cares enough to save Christmas and prove that everyone is important at the holidays. Wonderful, inventive, funny and full of honest Christmas cheer.
Best Christmas Moment: When Santa’s oldest son, Steve, points out that after hundreds of years of flawlessly delivering gifts, one child doesn’t matter, the elves cry out, “Which one?!” Take THAT, cynicism!
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40. Little Women (1994)
Gillian Armstrong’s lovely adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women features an all-star cast (Winona Ryder! Susan Sarandon! Kirsten Dunst! Claire Danes! Christian Bale!) and a heaping helping of heart. The story of four sisters coming of age and falling in love isn’t strictly a Christmas story, but the holiday season is peppered throughout the film like cinnamon, making it practically perfect for holiday viewing… or for viewing at any other old time.
Best Christmas Moment: The March sisters bounding through the snow, singing “Here We Come A-Wassailing” en route to donate their Christmas feast a less fortunate family.
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39. The Impossible (2012)
Based on the incredible true story of the Belon family, who were on a Christmas vacation in Thailand when the 2004 tsunami hit. Maria (Naomi Watts) and son separated from husband Henry (Ewan McGregor) and two other sons, the family learns a valuable lesson about survival and perseverance. Through their separate encounters with the Thai survivors, they learn that family is universal and helping people just for the sake of doing good is worth it. Luckily, this true story had a happy ending so it’s not a downer Christmas movie, although the portrayal of the carnage, and Maria’s own injuries, is pretty stark.
Best Christmas Moment: Not a lot of Christmas iconography in this one, so the real Christmas miracle has to be when the family is reunited.
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38. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
Santa Claus is coming… bolt your windows! A young boy is the only one in town who knows the horrifying real-life origins of Santa Claus, and he’s the only one who can save the world from his oncoming reign of terror after an American industrialist blasts open Kringle’s tomb. Jalmari Helander’s gorgeously photographed, humorous horror-adventure achieves Spielbergian heights of nostalgia and wonder, and it’s gradually becoming a modern Christmas classic.
Best Christmas Moment: Herding homicidal elves with a helicopter is pretty awe-inspiring, but the sweet, sad moment of a father with nothing to feed his son on Christmas but a handful of cookies is the heart of the movie.
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37. Die Hard 2 (1990)
As Franchise Fred, I’m glad I get to champion the ugly stepchild of a Christmas action sequel. In trying to recapture the surprise success of Die Hard, Die Harder copied more than just the obvious elements. It was John McClane (Bruce Willis) against terrorists in an airport this time, but it was also another Christmas. McClane is waiting at Dulles airport for his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) to arrive, as they’ve reconciled since the first movie. The Christmas snow became a problem for the film as it kept melting and they had to chase snow around the country to complete the outdoor scenes.
Best Christmas Moment: The end credits, McClane and Holly riding away from exploded airplane debris as the planes land by the light of the flames while “Let it Snow” plays over the titles once again.
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36. Babes in Toyland (1961)
The early 1960s were a unique and kind of golden time for live-action Disney features. There is something gloriously corny about the films of this era. Disney's Babes in Toyland is probably the best version of this particular story, which has been adapted to film at least five or six times. This one is all fantasy, featuring Mary Mary Quite Contrary (played by Annette Funicello) and Tom Tom the Piper's Son as its main characters. It's a goofy, dream-like live-action fairy tale that captures the glorious childlike wonder of the season.
Best Christmas Moment: The workshop may not be technically Santa's, but I think we all know who's missing from these scenes.
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35. Trading Places (1983)
When the Duke brothers (Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche) decide to swap their millionaire employee Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Aykroyd) and street hustler billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy). Hilarity ensues. This scheme falls right around Christmas where Winthorpe learns it’s not all festive cheer on the streets, although it must be a nice stocking stuffer for Valentine. Regardless of season, Trading Places is a comedy classic with two “Saturday Night Live” alums at the peak of their comic powers, Murphy still the dangerous edgy standup and Aykroyd right between Blues Brothers and Ghostbusters.
Best Christmas Moment: Winthorpe tries to reverse the switch by sneaking into the Duke Christmas party, stuffing buffet items into his dirty Santa costume.
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34. Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)
For a few brief moments, Monty Python portrays the perfect cinematic interpretation of the nativity: a storybook image of three wise men following a star to the birthplace of Jesus Christ. Then they wind up in the wrong manger, setting up a sly, spot-on satire of religious fervor. They never make fun of Jesus Christ (who shows up to give a solemn sermon on the mount), they just point out that a lot of the things we take for granted about religion and history are pretty darned ridiculous if you look at them a certain way.
Best Christmas Moment: “Thanks a lot for all the gold and frankincense, but don’t worry too much about the myrrh next time, all right?”
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33. Holiday Inn (1942)
Although the two aren't canonically related in any way, Holiday Inn – made in 1942 and directed by Mark Sandrich – can serve as an unofficial prequel to White Christmas, since the story is vaguely the same (dancers encounter drama in a Christmas/Holiday-themed inn), they both feature a full soundtrack by Irving Berlin, and they both star Bing Crosby. At the very least, they make for the best Christmas double feature ever. The film also stars Fred Astaire, so you know you're going to be in for some good dancing.
Best Christmas Moment: “White Christmas” and “Happy Holiday,” two of the best recent Christmas standards made their debut in this film.
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32. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Tim Burton created the tragic, whimsical character of Edward Scissorhands (Johnny Depp), a cutting machine turned human by an inventor (Vincent Price) who died before he could give him hands. A well-meaning mom (Dianne Wiest) brings Edward to live in her pastel ‘50s-esque suburban home where Edward wows the neighborhood and falls for her daughter (Winona Ryder). Hair cutting begets shrub manicuring begets ice sculpting, which is where Edward Scissorhands becomes a Christmas classic. The town turns on Edward during Christmas and runs him back to his castle, angry mob style. It is a bittersweet Christmas tale for sure, but many of the best fairy tales are.
Best Christmas Moment: When Edward shave blocks he creates a flurry of snow, which we learn may be the actual invention of snow.
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31. About a Boy (2002)
About a Boy is the ultimate Hugh Grant A-hole movie. Will Freeman (Grant) lives off the royalties from a Christmas song his father wrote. (How did “Santa’s Super Sleigh” not become a real Christmas classic?) Marcus (Nicholas Hoult) blackmails him into hanging out. Marcus’s mom (Toni Collette) suffers from clinical depression in what I consider the finest portrayal of the condition in cinema, and an important reminder that the holidays aggravates such conditions. But the film’s genius is in Will’s unapologetic behavior, and how Marcus learns valuable lessons by example, whether Will meant to or not.
Best Christmas Moment: When Will is out shopping and hears his dad’s Christmas song nearly two months early. We can all relate to the frustration of the holidays hitting us before we’re ready. Of course, for us it doesn’t mean royalty checks.
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30. Christmas in Connecticut (1945)
Barbara Stanwyck is irresistible as an independent city girl pretending to be the perfect housewife for a popular magazine, but when her publisher insists on staying over for Christmas she has to play the part for real. Naturally she’s just awful at it, but she coasts by on effortless charm. The lies start piling up, the jokes fly fast and furious and it all ends with Sydney Greenstreet exclaiming, “What a Christmas!” What an enchanting, wonderful Christmas indeed.
Best Christmas Moment: It just isn’t Christmas until someone walks the cow. That’s not a euphemism. The cow just wants attention, and taking it back to the stable is the perfect opportunity for an almost-but-not-quite extramarital flirt.
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29. Iron Man 3 (2013)
Since Shane Black got a chance to write and direct a Marvel movie, of course it had to be set at Christmas too. Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) gets back from forming The Avengers in New York to face indestructible Extremis patients and the supervillain The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley). It all started on New Year’s Eve 1999, which is still the Christmas season. That’s when Stark dissed Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce) and perfected the Extremis formula for Maya Hansen (Rebecca Hall). It comes full circle to Christmas 2013 when Stark finds himself bonding with a kid (Ty Simpkins) in a small town decorated for Christmas, while he rebuilds his suit. This may be Tony Stark’s Christmas Carol, where he’s faced with the consequences of his former transgressions and has to redeem himself.
Best Christmas Moment: Stark dragging his defunct Iron Man suit across the snow just seems like the perfect Christmas image.
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28. Elves (1989)
Elves, one of the oddest Christmas movies of all time, is a must-see for all fans of HFS schlock. Does it contain the spirit of the season? Actually, the film is so bad, it might be considered an anti-Christmas movie. And, I argue, there is certainly a yuletide integrity to that. Bad Christmas movies can highlight the season just as well as some of the best. Dig this: Grizzly Adams plays a melancholy mall Santa who must do battle with an evil rubbery elf-monster, resurrected by a decades-old Nazi conspiracy. Throw in a few fistfuls of incest. Stir and simmer. Christmas gold.
Best Christmas Moment: When the young boy spies on his sister undressing. That's Christmas-y, right?
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27. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
It's been said that there is a Christmas tree in the background of every single shot of Stanley Kubrick's final masterpiece, Eyes Wide Shut. This isn't entirely true, but, thanks to the film's wispy, dreamlike tone, it sure feels like it. Eyes Wide Shut is about sexual doubt, fidelity, and and how fantasy might overlap (and interfere) with making a relationship work, all set against a typically halcyon Christmas backdrop. Family and marital togetherness are mixed into this film's myriad themes, and what better setting to highlight that than Christmastime?
Best Christmas Moment: Bill and Alice shopping at FAO Schwartz, enjoying the wonderment of the season, all while discussing what their marriage means and if they love one another.
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26. Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983)
This 1983 Oscar-nominated animated short was my introduction to A Christmas Carol as a child. I assume it was for many others my age as well. Mickey Mouse played Bob Cratchit, and Scrooge was Scrooge McDuck. Disney is well-known for taking familiar fairy tales and filtering them into something kind of bland. This film, however, seems determined to stick to the spirit of Dickens' tale, giving us the story pretty much whole, only altered by the presence of talking animals.
Best Christmas Moment: Pick a moment. This one has it through-and-through.
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25. Santa Claus (1959)
St. Nick lives in a city in the clouds with dozens of child laborers and clockwork demon reindeer in this Mexican cult classic, a well-intentioned but accidentally nightmarish mix-up of yuletide nonsense. Santa Claus does battle with a pantalooned devil corrupting the children of Mexico, roofies two hapless parents and follows the whims of an overly-involved narrator in this weirdo holiday treasure, made famous - or rather, infamous - in an unforgettable episode of "Mystery Science Theater 3000."
Best Christmas Moment: Santa winds up the reindeer, who cackle like monsters from the deepest, darkest recesses of your imagination. And to think, this was made for children.
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24. Elf (2003)
Will Ferrell plays an elf in Santa’s workshop. It’s hilarious because he’s six feet tall and all the other elves are short, thanks to good old forced perspective photography. See, Buddy (Ferrell) was adopted by the North Pole and eventually travels to New York to find his real dad (James Caan). Buddy’s fish out of water shenanigans in New York are classic Ferrell, yet innocent enough for kids and a genuine Christmas classic with its infectious message about the holiday spirit. Buddy is hopelessly optimistic, which may be something we could use year-round.
Best Christmas Moment: Buddy turns his New York home into a Christmas wonderland with decorations and candy all over the place.
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23. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
The spirit of the season takes a shocking turn in Silent Night, Deadly Night, a controversial but effective slasher film about a traumatized young man who snaps on Christmas Eve, dealing death to anyone he deems “naughty.” Charles E. Sellier Jr.’s controversial holiday horror movie is smarter than most people realize, calling Christmas and Christianity out on hypocrisy, capitalism and a history of sending children mixed, miserable messages. Not for the faint of heart, but ideal for Scrooges everywhere.
Best Christmas Moment: There's nothing like a blissful Christmas sledding trip, whipping down the fine-powdered snow, not a care in the world - Oh hey look, an axe! - and reaching the bottom of the hill without your head.
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22. White Christmas (1954)
Directed by Michael Curtiz – the Casablanca guy – Irving Berlin's White Christmas, released in 1954, is one of the most Technicolor-riffic films in an era saturated with blood reds, rich pine greens, and the pinkest white people ever committed to film. The story of White Christmas, starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, involves a quartet of dancers who are trying to save a failing Vermont Christmas inn, but the story hardly matters. What's fun are the gorgeous songs (including the famed title tune), the dancing, the drama-free Christmas joy.
Best Christmas Moment: Nothing less than the song itself.
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21. Lethal Weapon (1987)
This is where Shane Black started the whole “Christmastime action movie” subgenre. Just in time for the holidays, family man Murtaugh (Danny Glover) is partnered with suicidal loner Riggs (Mel Gibson). Riggs’ death wish makes him a great cop and the holidays gives the Murtaugh family ample opportunity to invite him over, trying to be inclusive but reminding him of what he doesn’t have. The original film spawned a four part franchise, over the course of which Riggs became a lot less lethal. The original is also the only one set at Christmas.
Best Christmas Moment: I’m gonna go dark again and say Gibson’s open-mouthed scene with the gun, reminding us that suicide rates go up around the holidays.
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20. The Ref (1994)
Christmas is a time for family… whether we like it or not. In Ted Demme’s acidic but hilarious comedy, a thief played by Denis Leary takes a bickering, married Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis hostage only to find himself trapped in the miasma of their passive-aggressive holiday get-together. The result is a situation in which everyone finally gets to cut through the crap. It’s amazing how easy it is to fix Christmas with a gun to your head!
Best Christmas Moment: Everyone loves the ridiculous candle hats and Kevin Spacey’s crazed outbursts, but it’s the lame-ass gift-giving that feels truly universal. “Slipper socks. Medium!”
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19. Black Christmas (1974)
Considered by many to be the first slasher movie, Black Christmas remains just as scary as ever. That’s because it has a rich cast of fully realized characters, running about at Christmastime with one life-changing problem after another, getting picked off throughout the film by an unseen madman sending obscene phone calls that still send shivers down the spine. The family-friendly setting just makes the stylish, haunting murders scarier, offering a harsh reminder that good will towards men is more of a suggestion than a promise.
Best Christmas Moment: Door-to-door Christmas carolers, cheerfully (and accidentally) drowning out the screams of a truly brutal murder.
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18. Home Alone (1990)
The McCallisters are going away for Christmas, but a series of mishaps leaves little Kevin (Macauley Culkin) home alone. Kevin thinks he wished his family away, so he feels guilty and starts to miss them. That’s some family values propaganda right there. The McCallisters’ really treated Kevin like crap and he’s totally self-sufficient on his own, but the rest of the movie, where Kevin defends the house against burglars (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) is comedy gold. He spends the holiday week setting up decoys, faking a Christmas party and fortifying the house with booby traps. And a heartwarming message about being with loved ones during the season, yadda yadda yadda.
Best Christmas Moment: Kevin visits a fake Santa to wish for his family’s return, and explains he knows how this works. You’re not the real Santa but you can give him a message.
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17. Batman Returns (1992)
Tim Burton's 1992 anti-superhero film is dripping with Christmas imagery. There are Christmas trees in every other scene, the film's central villain is abandoned as a baby on Christmas Eve, and the evil yuppie calls himself Santa Claus. Bad guys pack bats into trees, attack charity events, and – in a Biblical twist – plan on murdering first-born sons on Christmas morning. Gotham City is not what's under threat in Batman Returns. It's Christmas itself. If the film didn't have such a horrific tone, it could have been called Batman Saves Christmas.
Best Christmas Moment: When the lighting of the Gotham City Christmas Tree unleashes a cloud of bats.
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16. Tokyo Godfathers (2003)
The late, great Satoshi Kon directed this animated, contemporary remake of Three Godfathers, a holiday movie that deserves a bigger audience. Three homeless people - an alcoholic, a teenaged runaway and a trans woman - stumble upon an abandoned newborn baby on Christmas Eve and set about finding the child’s mother. Their journey takes them through each other’s wounded pasts, finally colliding with a handful of miracles. The story is fun, the characters soulful, and the message - that everyone is connected - is sweet without ever feeling twee.
Best Christmas Moment: Pick a reunion. Any reunion.
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15. Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)
The best of the Ernest P. Worrell movies is an endearing, silly confection about Santa Claus searching for a suitable replacement. Don’t worry, it’s not Ernest (Jim Varney, never better), it’s an actor who doesn’t realize how much Christmas spirit he really has inside of him. But the naive comic hero gets involved anyway, contributing lots of merriment and good old-fashioned honest cheer to a now-beloved family favorite.
Best Christmas Moment: It’s so hard to choose between the time Ernest gets to drive Santa’s sleigh (air brakes!) or the misadventures of Chuck and Barney, who just don’t know how to handle magic reindeer storage.
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14. The Apartment (1960)
Billy Wilder's best film (and don't argue with me on this) actually takes place after Christmas, but it still feels like a Christmas movie. For the characters, the timing may be a little off, but the Christmas warmth – both literal and emotional – that they discover together is palpable and important. Jack Lemmon lends his apartment to his philandering office superiors in exchange for good graces. He ends up helping Shirley MacLaine out of a suicidal post-Christmas funk. This is a movie about overcoming the Christmas blues in the most significant way.
Best Christmas Moment: It's not markedly Christmas-y, but I still get a little choked up when Lemmon makes a spaghetti dinner for MacLaine.
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13. Scrooge (1951)
There have been literally hundreds of film versions of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol over the years, starting as early as 1901. The story is infectious, and it's hard not to tear up even with a bad production. Many made their way onto this list (one tenth of it consists of re-tellings of A Christmas Carol). But the 1951 production, however, starring Alastair Sim, remains in many people's minds the standard by which all other Christmas Carols are measured. Sim defined Scrooge the same way Bela Lugosi defined Dracula.
Best Christmas Moment: Tiny Tim, man. What a cute little *sob* guy.
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12. Bad Santa (2003)
Bad boy Billy Bob Thornton plays a con man who thrives during the Christmas season playing department store santa to case the joints for after hours heists. Since Willie (Thornton) doesn’t care about the job, he is not only a bad Santa, but possibly the worst Santa ever. His criminal cohort is the equally crusty Tony Cox, posing as Santa’s elf. The late John Ritter and Bernie Mac round out the cast as a manager and security agent respectively, Ritter appalled by Willie’s behavior and Mac just frustrated with the state of commercial Christmas. Ghost World director Terry Zwigoff directs the very, very R-rated Christmas romp, which features Willie doing women from behind, promising they “ain’t gonna shit right for a week.”
Best Christmas Moment: The film’s irreverent tone is epitomized in the opening scene where, after a cynical narration, Santa-suited Thornton barfs in a snowy alley as the title comes on screen.
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11. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
The Griswolds breathed new life into their trilogy by staying home, and Christmas is the perfect holiday for Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) to try to be the perfect dad but drive his family crazy. It also introduces us to Griswolds we’ve never heard of before, and fan favorite Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) returns with a much larger role. The Griswolds hit every holiday tradition: Christmas tree shopping, hanging Christmas lights, family dinners and blowing up the neighborhood. More importantly, it showed that perhaps the Griswolds themselves were more important than the destination of any Vacation.
Best Christmas Moment: My favorite moment of every Vacation movie is when Clark loses his shit, so for Christmas he works in the phrase, “Hallelujah! Holy shit!”
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10. Love Actually (2003)
Few filmmakers are more sentimental than Richard Curtis, the mastermind behind this 2003 Christmas favorite that is quickly spreading as a new classic. This is an ensemble piece stuffed full of notable English actors all suffering and loving their way through the Christmas season. Love Actually is a hugely ambitious sitcom that seeks to encapsulate every single emotional facet of the UK Christmas experience, from young love to heartbreak to hard work to even more love to the curious (and markedly British) phenomenon of the #1 Christmas record. It's sappy, and it's also pretty wonderful.
Best Christmas Moment: When Bill Nighy plays a guitar riff in the nude. We may laugh, but it's also a grand culmination of the film's drama, summed up in one silly, joyful image.
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9. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
After the death of Jim Henson, the Muppets struggled to find their way. They spent the ‘90s adapting classic literature, quite successfully. In their take on Charles Dickens, Michael Caine plays Ebenezer Scrooge. Gonzo and Rizzo have the biggest Muppet roles following him along on his three Christmas Ghost visits. What really makes The Muppet Christmas Carol work is that Caine takes his Muppet co-stars as seriously as he would Laurence Olivier. It grounds the film in legitimate Dickens, and this time the Muppets express perhaps more love than irreverence.
Best Christmas Moment: Since the whole movie is a faithful retelling of Dickens, I’m going to pick an obscure moment, where Rizzo follows up a one-liner by kissing Gonzo on the nose. It’s very sweet.
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8. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
Shane Black continued his Christmas action movie tradition with this mystery comedy based on a Brett Halliday novel. Robert Downey Jr. plays a petty thief who tries his hand at acting, and shadows a detective (Val Kilmer) for research. Harry Lockhart (Downey)’s crime is robbing a toy store at Christmas, and the Christmas parties are enhanced by Hollywood superficiality. The film itself is a timeless riff on detective stories and action movies, but since Black is a part of that very tradition, following his own Christmas motif sets Kiss Kiss Bang Bang firmly in that realm.
Best Christmas Moment: Nothing says Christmas like Michelle Monahan in a sexy Santa suit complete with puffy hat.
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7. Scrooged (1988)
When yuppies came to power in the 1980s, they provided the world with the perfect avatar for Ebenezer Scrooge, the all-business, money-obsessed miser of Dickens' celebrated story. In Richard Donner's 1988 film, Bill Murray plays the cruel-hearted Scrooge (well, "Frank Cross"), as even more of a jerk than we've ever seen him; in one scene he even suggests stapling antlers to mice. This is A Christmas Carol as a slapstick farce, providing us with hilarious ghosts and some painful pratfalls, but without ever losing its heart.
Best Christmas Moment: Scrooge's redemption is always a wonderful thing. This time, it's smoother and less sentimental than usual.
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6. Gremlins (1984)
Christmas is not just about warmth and love and family togetherness. It's also about PRESENTS! Any kid will tell you that, while they may love traveling or seeing family or drinking eggnog, what they really want is more presents. The perfect gift was found in Joe Dante's Gremlins, a film about a family who welcome a cute, furry critter into their house, only to learn that it can spawn a race of destructive intelligent reptile things. It's a scary monster film, yes, but it's also a subtle way of poking fun at the notion of the “perfect Christmas gift.”
Best Christmas Moment: When the gremlins go Christmas caroling.
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5. A Christmas Story (1983)
This is such a universal story about the desire for something being greater than the actual thing itself, that it even tricks kids into watching an old timey period piece. Based on Jean Shepherd’s writings, on the surface A Christmas Story is about Ralphie (Peter Billingsley)’s schemes to get a Red Ryder B.B. gun for Christmas. We can all relate to fantasizing about that perfect toy that will change our lives, and our disappointment when things like secret decoder ring messages turn out to be bogus. Ralphie’s fantasies about what he would do with a B.B. gun are priceless, but really, A Christmas Story is about growing up, facing bullies, getting along with parents and siblings, even our parents’ disappointments (poor Dad’s leg lamp). As true today as it was in the ‘40s.
Best Christmas Moment: As a kid, I always loved when Ralphie visits Santa but forgets to ask for the B.B. gun, so before he slides away he catches himself and climbs back up to Santa, only to be rebuffed for his dangerous request.
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4. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Henry Selick's adored animated classic is often cited as one of the best Halloween movies of all time, but, if you look at it closely, the film is not about Halloween at all. Indeed, The Nightmare Before Christmas is largely about how Halloween is played out, and how the lead character, Jack Skellington, finds that his life of scares and spookiness has been leaving him hollow. It's not until he discovers Christmas for the first time that he begins to feel fulfilled again. What Jack really seeks in this world – as seen in the film's gorgeous coda – is love. The inherent love of Christmas is what fulfills him until he can touch his bony little heart to someone else. How beautiful.
Best Christmas Moment: Jack sings “What's This?”
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3. Die Hard (1988)
One of the greatest action movies of all time is also one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time. John McTiernan's 1988 classic Die Hard is not just an excellent and exciting thrill ride, but it's also impeccably written. It's a film that is about blowing up evil super-thieves, yes, but the anticipated warmth of reuniting with his family for Christmas morning is what drives our everyday hero, John McClane. It's that warmth that gives Die Hard a lot of its much-needed humanity, and allows it to persist as a Christmas classic. Badass and warm. Perfect.
Best Christmas Moment: John McClane finally drives home to the strains of “Let It Snow!”
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2. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Edmund Gwenn is the ideal Santa Claus in Miracle on 34th Street, a delightful Christmas classic about a department store Santa who thinks that he’s the real deal. Soon enough, he’s got everyone else wondering, but when he’s institutionalized it falls to a lawyer (John Payne) to prove once and for all to the American government that Santa Claus actually exists. It’s an impossible situation, but Miracle on 34th Street makes you believe. (At least, the original one does.)
Best Christmas Moment: The conclusion to the trial, still one of the cleverest twists in movie history.
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1. It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
The best Christmas movie ever - and one of the best movies ever, period - stars James Stewart as a good man contemplating suicide. As he looks over his life he sees love and family and altruism and just how little seemed to actually come of it all. Anyone who has suffered the Christmas blues can sympathize, and Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life doesn’t shy away from the despair. If anything, it gets so dark that the ultimate redemption is life-affirming in a way that few movies ever match. With a heaping helping of magic, and a powerful performance from Stewart, life seems pretty wonderful indeed by the time it’s done. No matter how sad you were when it began.
Best Christmas Moment: “Merry Christmas, movie house!”
