Rio Drug Dealers Are Selling Olympic-Branded Cocaine

July 26, 2016

Can you say limited edition collector’s item?

According to the Sporting News, local business leaders in Rio are no doubt going to attempt to capitalize on the Olympics even before the Summer Games arrive next week. And oh yes, that includes the boys and girls slinging dope:

Rio cocaine dealers now using the Olympic logo, plus the warning “don’t use near children,” which is very thoughtful pic.twitter.com/8M0e551eej

— Alex Cuadros (@alexcuadros) July 26, 2016

So if you’re keeping score at home, you can now add Olympic-branded snout candy to the long list of issues plaguing the Rio Games, and that list includes severe crime, extreme water pollution, mutilated bodies washing ashore near Olympic volleyball courts, police and other authority figures welcoming visitors to the Rio airport with signs that read, “Welcome to Hell,” a financial crisis, the impeachment of Brazil’s president and of course, the Zika virus.

Gonna be a long summer in Rio.

The ball went out of bounds, but it luckily came to rest next to that corpse: Mutilated Body Washes Up On Beach In Rio Where They’re Supposed To Play Olympic Volleyball

Tommy Gimler is a stand-up comedian, musician, writer, emcee and all-around good guy. He has worked hundreds of stages across the country, including those at The Laugh Factory, The World Famous Comedy Store and dozens of Improvs.

Tommy has had the pleasure of emceeing events for amazing clients such as Budweiser, Mitsubishi, Chase, Discovery, Animal Planet in front of thousands of people at events like the Super Bowl, X Games, U.S. Open, Little League World Series.