Have you ever heard a woman say, “I’m probably 160 pounds right now, and I can catch a dick whenever I want?”
Well, now you have.
According to TIME, Amy Schumer won the Trailblazer Award at the 2015 GLAMOUR Women of the Year Awards in London Tuesday night, and as you might expect, the funniest woman in the world “tore the fucking roof off” with her acceptance speech.
The entire five minutes and 43 seconds are a must-see, as just when you thought she wouldn’t be able top her “Jack-o’-Lantern with tits” story, she swooped in with the tale of how every female comic who does a photo shoot winds up looking like a, well, “dumpster,” to put it mildly.
Let’s be honest: Amy Schumer and GLAMOUR would usually go together about as well as Lindsay Lohan and sobriety. But after that acceptance speech, here’s to hoping they find another award to present her with next year. And the year after that, for that matter.
Watching porn in the presence of porn stars is also hysterical: Watching Porn With Porn Stars Is Awkward, Hilarious and Very Educational
