If that’s the case, then what’s the point of signing up?
The guys at Deadspin have come across an amazing email that was recently sent by an unidentified co-ed kickball coach to his team’s male players that basically tells them to wait five weeks before humping their female teammates.
The reason? You guessed it: it’s all about the championship, baby.
According to the coach, there are three things that will guide his team to a title this year: how well the men play, how well the women play, and if the women show up. And by his rationale, the women aren’t going to show up if the guys take turns plowing them after a few pitchers at McGillycuddy’s following the first couple of games:
The main reason for this (women not showing up), is screwing. No joke, you bang some chick, she’s ashamed, maybe you sucked at it (none of us, obviously) and she doesn’t want to see you, therefore she doesn’t show up again.
As a result of this analysis, the coach lays down one simple rule:
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK ANYONE ON THE TEAM UNTIL AFTER WEEK FIVE.
Of course, it wouldn’t be the greatest kickball email ever created unless it ends with a reminder that it’s all about the team:
Please be a team player, wait a few weeks. If you’re that good, it won’t matter anyway. Don’t break up the team because of your dick.
Speaking of hysterical emails: Inside Richard Sherman’s Gmail Account
