If you’ve never seen Epic Meal Time before, get ready to be disappointed with every other meal you eat for the rest of your life. The highly popular online cooking show prides itself on creating meals with so many calories, that it would kill most medium-size animals, while using the most fantastic ingredients in the most unusual ways. Here’s a look at 15 of their most insane videos to date. I wouldn’t suggest watching while you’re hungry.
15. Epic Christmas Carol
Why You Should Watch: It’s a giant snowman filled with booze, bacon, Rice Krispies and chocolate chips. Also, the story of Harley encountering three ghosts in the form of “A Christmas Carol” is pretty great.
14. Ultimate Pizza Sandwich
# of Calories: 45,133
Why You Should Watch It: They took a bunch of pizzas and pizza pouches then crammed them into a giant pocket. If that wasn’t enough, they made another exact same pocket, put all the filling in between the two, and made an amazing pizza sandwich.
13. Dishwasher Lasagna
# of Calories: 18,144
Why You Should Watch It: This one really took cooking to another level, as the gang cooked food in a dishwasher, made a breakfast sandwich on an iron and used a coffee pot to make macaroni and cheese.
12. Meatzza
# of Calories: 65,312
Why You Should Watch It: Pizza with a crust made of sausage and a ground beef base covered in layers of cheese, bacon, pepperoni and meat sauce? I’ll take one, please.
11. Hella Tella Chili
# of Calories: 104,870
Why You Should Watch It: You have never witnessed a cinnamon bun like this in your life. I don’t even want to try to describe everything that goes into this because you need to see it for yourself. Just know there’s a lot of Nutella.
10. 50-lb. Grilled Cheese Sandwich
# of Calories: 68,128
Why You Should Watch It: This isn’t your average 50-pound grilled cheese sandwich. It’s stuffed with 40 double cheeseburgers from McDonald’s as well as pounds of bacon. You know, the same way your grandma used to make them.
9. Breakfast of Booze
# of Calories: 18,531
Why You Should Watch It: They took all of the normal breakfast foods and drenched them in Jack Daniels sauce after each was wrapped in bacon. If breakfast was like this every morning, I would be up daily at 6 a.m.
8. Epic Eggroll
Why You Should Watch It: You won’t have to worry about being hungry in an hour after this Chinese dish. The guys took basically every dish from a Chinese restaurant, wrapped in a giant egg roll, and deep fried it. Just wait until you see the fortune cookie at the end.
7. 84 Egg Sandwich
# of Calories: 48,138
Why You Should Watch It: The meal is amazing, but my favorite part of the episode is watching Harley try to convince the lady at the McDonald’s drive-thru that he seriously wants 90 McMuffins.
6. 100-lb. Chocolate Bar
# of Calories: 167,087
Why You Should Watch It: If you’re diabetic, I’m fairly certain watching this will kill you. The amount of chocolate bars combined together into one magical treat is the thing dentists dream of the most.
5. Turbaconepi-Centipede
# of Calories: 802,420
Why You Should Watch It: That is not a typo. The “Epic Meal Time” version of “The Human Centipede” packs in an astounding 802,420 calories. Just to put that into perspective, a 5’10 175-lb. male in his mid-20s should take in around 2900 calories per day.
4. Fast Food Sushi
# of Calories: 11,816
Why You Should Watch It: They took all of your favorite fast food items and sauces, combined with a bunch of bacon and made it into the most untraditional type of sushi you’ve ever witnessed.
3. Candy Pizza
Why You Should Watch It: “Epic Meal Time” is known for whipping up large amounts of candied bacon, but this may be the best use of it yet. There’s also a ridiculous amount of deep-fried candy bars, which will satisfy the inner fat kid in all of us.
2. Chili Four Loko
# of Calories: 46,255
Why You Should Watch It: Ah, the good old days. Back when the Four Loko flowed like rivers of deadly water. The guys made a ridiculous chili which was served in a trough made of, you guessed it, bacon.
1. Fast Food Lasagna
# of Calories: 71,488
Why You Should Watch It: This may be the pinnacle of “Epic Meal Time.” They took 45 burgers from multiple fast food restaurants and made them into a giant lasagna. If you’d like to make one of your own, “Epic Meal Time” now has a show called “Handle It” where they show you how to re-create their meals, including the Fast Food Lasagna.
