There are two things that almost all average Americans have in common with each other: they like to drink and they enjoy watchin
g syndicated reruns of “Family Guy” on Adult Swim and their local TBS affiliates. And while we did just make that up so you will feel like an outcast if you don’t play our silly little drinking game, it doesn’t make the game itself any less relevant to the title of this piece. So without further adieu, we give you the rules of our “Family Guy Syndication Drinking Game” that conveniently works for when new episodes return on FOX, as well. (Warning: there is more dire risk to your life with every episode you watch, but we’re pretty confident that you’ll pass out before you do much permanent damage to yourself).
RULES
1. Quite simply, we’ve divided up certain aspects, running gags, and other recognizable “Family Guy” tropes into criteria for five separate categories of drinking. For all of the criteria that appear under the ‘One Drink’ category, you take one drink. You take two drinks for the ones under ‘Two Drinks’ and so on.
2. You can choose how many categories you and your group want to follow for every game. For instance, if you don’t want to get blackout wasted in a half hour’s time, maybe just play the One Drink and Two Drink categories for the episode. Also, if you’ve decided to play with something like wine instead of beer, it might not hurt to just stick with the One Drink category.
3. Some criteria, such as the “TV pop culture reference” in the One Drink category have exceptions that are in higher drinking categories. Those exceptions will be noted.
4. When a criteria such as “Bruce appearance” is used in the Five Drinks category, this excludes background or non-speaking appearance for every one.
5. The “Bonus” category consists of optional drinking criteria you can choose to add to the game to make things a little more interesting than just drinking. For instance, you can add a giving out drinks category to spice things up and screw your friends over.
Pretty simple, yes? Alright, on your marks…get set…GO!
Oh wait, we should probably give you a list of Family Guy’s air times according to time zones, huh? Well, they are at the very bottom of this article. Take a look so you know, then GO!
ONE DRINK
-TV pop culture reference (excluding the Muppets and “Peanuts”/Charlie Brown references, which are in higher drink categories)
-Movie or music pop culture reference
-Video game reference
-Peter ignores something someone is saying or just said to him
-Brian being a writer is referenced (first time in the episode only)
-Innuendo that Stewie is gay
-Lois nags someone
-Chris says something creepy
-Meg is chastised to her face
-Quagmire implies he has some sort of STD
-Adam West appearance (first time in the episode only)
-Celebrity pop culture reference (excluding when celebrities do their own voices)
-The show makes light of a disease or illness
-The show makes light of a historic tragedy
-Any racist, sexist or homophobic joke
-Any joke belittling religion or the trait of a religion’s people
TWO DRINKS
-Muppets reference
-“Star Wars” reference
-Peter pulls a prank that actually hurts someone
-Brian displays a real dog-like trait, is treated like a dog, or both
-Stewie displays a baby-like trait
-Meg is chastised behind her back
-Joe being crippled is referenced
-Consuela appearance (first time only)
-God or Jesus appearance (first time only)
-Herbert implies pedophilia (first time only)
-Celebrity voices themselves in pop culture reference or guest star appearance (only drink the initial time when it is a full-on guest star appearance)
-Celebrity is killed or dies
-Other “Animation Domination” show reference (i.e. “The Simpsons,” “King of the Hill,” “Bob’s Burgers”)
-Other Seth MacFarlane show reference (i.e. “American Dad,” “The Cleveland Show”)
-Any character expresses a strong liberal or conservative opinion on an issue
-Any character shows their bare ass or appears nude
-Audible flatulence
FIVE DRINKS (OR TWO BIG SWIGS)
-Musical number
-“Peanuts”/Charlie Brown reference
-Indiana Jones reference
-Main character is seriously injured or killed, only to appear fine in the next scene
-Quagmire’s fascination with Lois is exposed
-Cleveland bathtub gag
-Evil Monkey appearance (first time only)
-Bruce appearance (first time only)
-Cutaway reveals the origin of a character or character’s signature trait
-Joke from earlier in the episode is referenced again later in the episode
FINISH YOUR BEER
-Breakfast cereal mascot reference
-Cutaway takes place in first 30 seconds of the episode
-Live-action is used i
nstead of animation (including real-life photos, but excluding claymation)
-Peter hurts his knee gag
-Stewie unveils a new invention
-The “wh” sound gag (i.e. Cool Whip)
-The Vaudeville Guys (Vern and Johnny) appearance
-“Surfin’ Bird” is played (first time only)
SHOTGUN A FULL BEER
-Chicken fight
-The Griffins hang a newspaper article or headline in their living room
-Buzz Killington appearance
-Recurring character is killed off permanently
BONUS
-You can choose as a group whether or not you should have to chug your beer along with jokes you realize are dragging out purposely or absurdly long until the joke stops or you run out of beer.
-Each person chooses a catch phrase and gets to give out a drink every time it is said in the episode (for example, “Giggity,” “What the deuce?,” “PETA!,” etc.)
-Every time Peter does his patented laugh, one person in the group has to take a drink. It then switches from person to person in a rotating order with each passing Peter laugh.
-Each person is allowed to guess during the episode which joke they think will be brought back to close the episode out (which has become common for the show). If you get it wrong, then it doesn’t count against yo
u in any way. If anyone gets it right, however, everyone else has to drink the rest of their beer.
-Any episode where the Kool-Aid Man appears, everyone has to put Kool-Aid mix in the beer/glass of wine they are currently drinking. Of course, if you have no Kool-Aid mix in your house, then no harm, no foul.
“FAMILY GUY” SHOWTIMES (all times subject to change)
TBS:
Mondays 8-10pm, 10:30-11pm
Wednesdays 8-9:30pm
Thursdays 8-9pm
Fridays 8-9pm
Adult Swim:
Mondays-Fridays 11-12pm, 2:30-3:30am (repeats)
Saturdays 10-11pm
Sundays 10:30pm, 11:30pm, 2:00am (repeat), 3:00am (repeat)
