Ask anyone who knows their Staals from their Stolls who the best NHL play-by-play man is, and you will undoubtedly hear the same name: Mike “Doc” Emrick. After years of calling the action for the New Jersey Devils, Doc was snapped up by NBCSports and will be the man in the booth for every game of the Stanley Cup Final. Emrick’s enthusiasm for the game is unmatched … but so is his vocabulary. He’s known for his unique turns of phrase – so to make sure hockey noobs know what the hell he’s talking about, we offer this handy phrasebook.
“Swaggered on in” – When a forward carrying the puck tries to beat the opposing team’s defenseman with speed. See also: “finessed.”
“Freight-trained” – When a player body checks an opposing player, causing that player to fall down; to barrel over someone
“Waffleboarded away” – When a goaltender uses his “blocker” (the flat, padded glove with which he holds his stick) to make a save, a reference to old-style blockers that had holes in their leather tops through which padding was visible and were nicknamed “waffles” or “waffleboards”
“Squibbed on through” – Not a reference to the small devices used to simulate gunshot wounds in movies; it means having a pass or shot partially blocked, but still maintaining some forward momentum. “Kronwall puts the body on Toews, but the puck is squibbed on through and can be played now by Kane …”
“Rifled along” – When a defenseman or forward shoots the puck hard and fast along the boards to either clear the zone or keep it away from opposing players
“Sealed off” – When a goaltender either pulls in his arms and legs or hugs the goal post to ensure there are no gaps through which a puck can squirt through
“Finessed on in” – Similar to “swaggered,” this is when a player attempts to deke or fake out an opposing player with some kind of display of agility. As in: “The pass is on the stick of Crosby, nice move as it’s finessed on in to the Bruins’ zone …”
“Elevators it” – When a player attempts a pass by lifting the puck off the ice, over opposing defensemen’s sticks or bodies
“Gonged Away” – When a goaltender uses his head, either intentionally or unintentionally, to make a save. As in: “Shot through traffic, and it’s gonged away by Rask …”
“Wedged off” – Not quite a body check, but when a player leans in and forces an opposing player into the boards or otherwise separates him from the puck
“Pitchforked away” – When a player attempts to clear the zone by flipping the puck into the air, using a motion not unlike a farmer bailing hay
“My goodness” – A frequent Emrick exclamation meaning “something really cool, unexpected, controversial, or otherwise noteworthy has happened.” For maximum effectiveness, the “my” needs to be stretched to three syllables: “Myyy-yyy-yyy goodness.”
