What.
What’s worse than soul-sucking chart-humper milky-bland rock superstars Nickelback? If you guessed ISIS, or police militarization, or even Kanye’s latest shitty rant, you’d be wrong. But on a technicality, one answer might qualify as legit: Disco, the demon byproduct of en era plagued by white powder recreation, terrible fashion and dudes with no business on the dancefloor thinking they’re John Travolta.
To hell with everything about disco’s coked-out glitter-shitting fashion-music holocaust. Music lovers are universally thankful it died a bloated death on the dance floor decades ago. So naturally, Nickelback – a staggeringly successful band despite their best efforts – doubled down on their bid to have the world bomb Canada by making a disco song. And while it’s quite clearly the sonic equivalent of the sticky mung-funk residue off a rusty tongue-scraper dragged along a fat homeless guy’s bare ass, I’ll be damned if they don’t somehow beat Muse at their own honky-funk space-disco game.
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Did Chad Kroeger call my sister a funky monkey who everybody wants to fist? What? That’s as far as we’re going on the lyrics. Grab a coca-cola from the mirrorball fridge, hop on a roller-coaster, do a line of fake cocaine from Avril Lavigne’s glamour kit at Claire’s and have yourself a watch:
So no, the new Nickelback disco song is not good. It’s retarded. But it’s a reminder that we should expect more from other wildly successful bands as well. Your move, Muse.
