One of the most oft-overlooked horror movie monsters is Dr. Frankenstein’s creation. With zombies and vampires being all of the rage, it feels like we’ve lost sight of our scary movie roots and, here at CraveOnline, we abhor the thought that Frankenstein’s monster might end up being a distant memory.
That’s why we’re all so thankful for I, Frankenstein (coming to theaters January 24). And in honor of this movie, we’d like to create our own monster for you, using all of your favorite peoples’ parts.
If You Could Create Your Own Frankenstein, Whose Parts Would You Use?
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1. Gene Kelly’s Feet
Gene Kelly was an amazing dancer. And while dancing might not be the most useful skillset for a Frankenstein monster, just take a second to think about it. Dancing is something that you can use recreationally and as a means of combat. For instance, you can use an ultra impressive tap dance routine to impress your friends OR memorize your opponent before you beat him senseless!
Photo by Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images
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2. Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Legs
This one is a no-brainer. Jean-Claude’s legs are his most valuable assets. Not only is he insanely flexible and able to do the splits, but he can also kick dudes in the face without straining a muscle. What else could you want from a pair of legs? Okay, well maybe a close second to Jean-Claude would be Blake Lively, but for completely different reasons.
Photo by Cannon Pictures/Getty Images
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3. Andre the Giant’s Torso
Impenetrable. Don’t believe us? Just take a look at some of his highlights on YouTube. So the next time that your Frankenstein monster runs into an army of badass wrestlers, whose chest would you rather have protecting your innards? My guess is that it won’t be that rail-thin hipster who works down at Whole Foods.
Photo by Bruce Bennett Studios/Getty Images)
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4. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Arms
Let’s be clear, we mean his arms from the 1970s. Not only were they gigantic, but they were, ostensibly, pretty strong. And, aesthetically speaking, a huge set of arms are necessary for balancing out Andre’s torso, but they would also play a big role in scaring off enemy ninjas.
Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images
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5. Harry Houdini’s Hands
Houdini is one of the most interesting people who ever lived. But, what is more relevant for this exercise, is that the dude was magic. He could use his hands to escape from everything. Chains, ropes, locks, water tanks… You name it and that dude could escape it. What would be better for a Frankenstein monster than the ability to magically break out of all tricky situations?
Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images
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6. Mike Tyson’s Head
Mike Tyson is one ugly dude and his face tattoos make him… Well, downright scary. What could be better than having a Frankenstein monster with a freaking horrifying face? Making sure that the face is attached to a skull that can take a pretty massive beating. And, even though Mike Tyson is one of the best boxers of all time, he definitely took his fair share of shots to the noggin. It seemed to protect his brain pretty well. Okay, maybe it didn’t, but it still looks super badass.
Photo by Focus on Sport/Getty Images
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7. Napoleon’s Eyes
This diminutive leader was well known for his insatiable thirst for power. The means he used to go after this power? Conquest. He staged his first coup d’état to install himself as First Consul of France at the age of 30. By 35, the French Senate proclaimed him the freaking emperor. Maybe eyes aren’t the best thing to get from this guy, but we had to take something (and the rest of him is pretty small).
Photo by: Universal History Archive/UIG via Getty Images
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8. Stephen Hawking’s Brain
Yeah, he’s just a super smart guy. Pretty sure his brain would be useful.
