Sometimes in relationships people tell lies. Often these lies are little white lies, told in order to not upset his/her significant other.
Here are 4 of those very lies men tell women.
The Lie: “Surgically enhanced breasts aren’t attractive whatsoever.”
Why We Say It: Well, it’s weird, isn’t it? Having an attraction to what is ostensibly human flesh laboriously pulled across two rubber cups is an odd thing to admit to, especially when there are millions of perfectly natural breasts already out there. In truth, years spent watching porn have made us grown somewhat accustomed to an oversized, immobile breast or two.
The Lie: “This isn’t heavy at all.”
Why We Say It: For men, flirting consists of two things: telling jokes, and picking shit up. If we’re not making a woman laugh, then chances are we’re picking up something heavy in front of her in order to let her know that we’re a dominant alpha male type, who has muscles and confidence and all of that stuff that we’re told girls like. Of course, sometimes even our impressive strength is tested, and we find ourselves lifting something that we’re not entirely capable of. In that case, we’ll inform our female spectator(s) that what we’re carrying “isn’t heavy at all”, or words to that effect, before inevitably giving ourselves a hernia.
The Lie: “You’re the only one I think about having sex with.”
Why We Say It: For men, thinking about sex is involuntary. Half the time we don’t even realise that we’re doing it. For example, we may drive past a woman who has bent over in order to tie her shoelaces and, before we know it, we’re picturing ourselves awkwardly humping her on the side of the road. It’s an illness. This is why, when our significant others question us about our sexual fantasies, we assure them that they’re the only ones we think about, largely because we don’t have the time to list everyone else who spontaneously creeps into our minds.
The Lie: “I was just looking at her ugly shoes/hat/dress.”
Why We Say It: Doing a double-take of a passing female is risky business and, if you are found to be doing so by your partner, it can result in an unwanted awkward conversation. There are two ways to avoid this happening:
1: Keep your eyes to yourself you pervert, or…
2: Lie and tell your partner that you were just looking at the other woman’s “ugly” attire.
Sadly, it is unquestionable which one you will choose.
