Bonnaroo 2013 Survival Guide

With four days packed with music and a ridiculous amount of late-night events in the works, Bonnaroo is a marathon of music if there ever was one. Whether camping on the fields or car-tripping your way in and out each day, there are some basic essentials to remember so you’re not left sunburned, soaked, separated from your friends or, worst of all, caught without toilet paper.

So plan well, prepare accordingly, and have yourself a blast at Bonnaroo 2013!

You’re going to be dealing with a sea of brakelights in the gridlock of camper arrivals and day trippers, no matter when you arrive. The coming and going of the vehicular masses is going to burn fuel like there’s no tomorrow, so make sure you fill up entirely before heading out to the farm – and what good is a road trip without mixtapes? Check out our Bonnaroo 2013 Spotify Playlist for a head start on artists playing this year.

Look. It’s a gross detail, but you’re on your own with 100,000 other sweating, stinking people eating the same horrible festival food you are. History tells us that, on occasion, toilet paper can become the most valuable and desperately sought-after commodity at a weekend music festival. Do yourself a favor and don’t leave the most intimate necessities to chance. Bring more than a few rolls of toilet paper as backup – you’d be amazed at the gratitude and goodwill complete strangers will show just by looking out for your fellow man – or woman. Be prepared.

The fastest way to dehydrate yourself is to start throwing ’em back while the sun’s shining down on you. Add 90% humidity to that, and you’ll be horizontal and unconscious in no time. Once the day starts to cool off, you can partake in the glory of a $300 drink. But there’s a reason you see dozens of faceplanted fools down for the count before Day Two even kicks off – party when it’s time to party.

Stumbling drunk into tents on the campground is no way to pick up chicks. Not only that, but it would be a good idea to steer clear of the temptation to moonwalk in front of cops while chugging a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. This isn’t a frat party, and you’re in it for the long haul. Plus, you’re not going to be feeling much of a buzz with the sweat pouring out of you. So consider the possibility of maybe not draining your checking account for the brew. But if you do, know your limits, and…

No matter what you put in your body, four days in the sun is gonna take its toll. Clock at least 5-6 hours of sleep each night, so you can be refreshed and raring to go in the morning. And by morning, we mean mid-afternoon.

Don’t want to break the bank on nasty festival grub? Pack your own food for the campground, and save yourself some serious cash. Besides, how much greasy chow mein and overpriced cafeteria pizza can you really stomach in one weekend?

Be smart about what you do decide to bring. Security can get downright frightening when first getting into ‘Roo, and being casual about broadcasting your recreational plans could result in a very bad weekend for you. And no matter how good the deal sounds, don’t buy anything on the fields or at the campsite but what grows naturally: you never know what you’re getting.

Evil scheduling conflicts mean you will inevitably miss some performances you’ll wish you had seen, but if you plan ahead you can cut down on the missed moments. We’ll bring you our must-see bands list on Monday, but in the meantime check out our Bonnaroo 2013 Spotify Playlist, where you can sample the music and see if something new catches your ear.

Your phone battery is going to deplete faster than you can say, “Wait, I’m not finished uploading that pic of Bjork’s battle-royal throwdown with the Wu-Tang Clan!” – (but for real, chick is not to be effed with) Twitter, Instagram and Facebook apps are energy vampires that will leave you digitally stranded in no time.

Keep your charger on you, and consider taking the cheap leap into the world of portable chargers. There will be charging stations for mobile devices set up in various locations. Use them as often as you can – you don’t want technology failing on you at the worst possible time.

It’s going to be hotter than hell out on the fields of Roo, but the humidity is going to have you sweating rivers. Even if you’re steering clear of alcohol and other recreational indulgences, you’re guaranteed to suffer a mean bout of dehydration and possibly even heat stroke unless you’ve got a steady stream of H20 entering your body. Free fill-up stations all around the park will save you some serious cash (and help avoid the sight of a billion or so disposable plastic bottles strewn everywhere), and keep you healthy all weekend. Got a camelback? Rock it.