Calling Men Bald Sexual Harassment, But Not Here in America, Ya Chrome-Dome

Is calling a man bald simply stating the obvious or is it an insult? (There’s only one right answer to that, and it’s the latter.) But a UK tribunal claims it isn’t just offensive to point out the lack of hair on the heads of follicularly-challenged men – it’s saying it qualifies as sexual harassment, too!

A panel of judges (which is, uncoincidentally, comprised of balding men) has ruled that making fun of chrome domes is sexual harassment because it is “inherently related to sex.” In other words, it happens more to men than women, and is therefore sexist to speak of. (Have these dudes not heard of Jada Pinkett Smith?)

Even more outrageous, the judges compared heckling baldy to commenting on a woman’s breast size. (Clearly not well-versed in similes, these guys.)

This new ruling came about thanks to an electrician named Tony Finn. He sued a Yorkshire-based family business (hilariously named British Bung) after one of his supervisors, Jamie King, allegedly called him a “fat bald c–.” (We’re going to assume the expletive was See You Next Tuesday.) Boy, that sounds like a triple-threat insult, but the only word that rubbed Finn the wrong way was, apparently, “bald.”

“In our judgment, there is a connection between the word ‘bald’ on the one hand and the protected characteristic of sex on the other,” the judges proclaimed. “We find it to be inherently related to sex.”

The tribunal went on: “In our judgment Mr. King crossed the line by making remarks personal to the claimant about his appearance. It is difficult to conclude other than that Mr. King uttered those words with the purpose of violating [Mr. Finn’s] dignity and creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for him. Of his own admission, Mr. King’s intention was to threaten [Mr. Finn] and to insult him.”

OK, fine, calling someone a fat bald whatever is an insult. But sexual harassment? Come on, fellas. Next thing you know, you won’t even be able to call your coworker a cunt anymore.

Cover Photo: 5M_photos (Getty Images)