Nothing consistently delivers an hour’s worth of happy crying like Netflix’s Queer Eye. From Georgia to Japan, the Fab Five have fluttered into the lives of many unsuspecting humans, positively transforming them from the inside out in just a matter of days. If you’ve never seen it, the effect is astounding.
Now, with Season 6 streaming some of the most moving personal journeys yet, we started thinking (ok, daydreaming) about what it would look like if the Fab Five migrated their miracle work away from civilian pile-ups and into the realm of celebrity train wrecks.
Of course, deep down we know these dreams reside in the kingdom of fantasyland. For one thing, celebrities are way too cagey to be that vulnerable on TV. (After all, the folks we’re suggesting for Season 1 of Celebrity QE have some of the biggest egos in the world.)
That said, no matter how difficult a case, the Fab Five always come out on top. Because who can withstand the power of their combined magic? Roseanne? Maybe. But before we start fantasizing about Roseanne, here’s who we’d really like to see the boys work their wizadry on (with predictions of how each transformation will go down). Prepare for a French Tuck.
Cover Photo: Jerod Harris (Getty Images)
Celeb queer eye
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Armie Hammer
Antoni asks Armie to stop sauteeing adrenal glands and he says "no" before biting Karamo on the leg.
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Ted Cruz
In honor of Austin, Texas hosting Season 6, the guys break into the state Capitol to give Ted Cruz a makeover. Unfortunately, Cruz has already escaped to Cancun where he's "apologizing" to Tucker Carlson in the privacy of an upscale cabana.
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Shia LaBeouf
When Jonathan tries to cut his hair, Shia runs out of the salon screaming and punches a mime who happens to be performing on the sidewalk.
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Lindsay Lohan
After Bobby renovates Lindsay's estate to remove all the giant oil paintings of her face, she freaks and jumps out the second-story window into a cactus bush.
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Kanye West
Kanye woos the Fab Five and makes them guest on his next album, only to cut their verses a day before the record drops.
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Mitch McConnell
Tan tries to remain polite while dressing Mitch when he discovers his body is literally a bunch of old socks being held together by duct tape.
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Queen Elizabeth II
As Karamo attempts to get to the heart of monarchical racism, The Queen recalls the night she spent with Harry Belafonte. Yas, Queen!
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Marilyn Manson
Manson gets a normcore makeover, changes his name to Doug, and gets a job as a Human Resources supervisor for a health food company in Seattle where morning yoga helps him synthesize his past behavioral issues.
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Mel Gibson
After convincing Tan to let him update his wardrobe to 100 percent kilts, Mel hijacks the Fab Mobile and crashes it into a parked police van, sending the boys to the ER with a few minor injuries.
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Britney Spears
Britney looks hotter than ever after a fabulous JVN makeover and the guys decide to support her new free nipple wardrobe after watching her dance the Macarena. What a season finale.
