Britney Spears Off the Hook for Alleged Assault of Housekeeper (So That Means More Topless Pics, Right?)

Just days after Britney Spear’s dad claimed to be stepping down from his role as conservator, the ‘Toxic’ singer was coincidentally accused of assaulting her housekeeper.

The alleged incident occurred on August 16 when Spears went feral over the veterinary care of her dog. The housekeeper called police to report the attack and told investigators that Spears, in a rabid rage, lashed out with one of her paws. But when prodded for more details, the staff member inside Spear’s Ventura estate was forced to explain the true extent of the violence.

She claims Spears hit the cell phone out of her hand and that the screen protector was damaged as a result. Not the screen, mind you, just the protector.

We totally sympathize because one time we dropped a fork at breakfast and it left a scuff mark on our now-deceased screen protector that haunts us to this day.

Spears’ attorney Matthew Rosengart called the investigation, “overblown sensational tabloid fodder – nothing more than a manufactured ‘he said she said’ regarding a cellphone, with no striking and obviously no injury whatsoever.”

The DA’s office agreed, saying Spears “will not be charged with any crimes related to an incident that occurred at her residence involving her housekeeper,” noting “the lack of injury to the housekeeper or significant damage to the phone.”

Case closed. Or is it?

While James Spears gave no timeline for his departure as Britney’s de facto overlord, it’s a little suspicious (as all hell) that a story painting Britney as the abuser should come out days after the most-hated dad in music looks to rebrand himself. Is Mr. Spears really as abusive and controlling as he comes off? Or is Britney the loose cannon he’s claimed all these years, liable to explode at any moment?

Those questions may never be answered. But we do know one thing for sure. Now that Britney is off the hook, the 39-year-old can get back to doing what she loves: keeping her Instagram streak alive.

Cover Photo: J Merritt (Getty Images)

Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.