It’s not every day you stumble across a million-dollar bundle of fresh, high-quality cocaine destined for the moon. Unless you live in Florida, in which case you’re more likely to catch a kilo of coke than a fish.
At least that’s the official story from the Space Force after a “scientist” recently “discovered” a $1.2 million dollar stash of cocaine as it washed ashore on their base in Cape Canaveral. The wildlife manager was out checking turtle nets when an unidentified flying package bobbed onto the sand. She ripped it open and immediately alerted authorities.
But before narcotics field officers arrived on the scene, 23 more identical packages swept onto the beach, totaling 60 pounds in all. Security teams collected each bundle and “tested” them before sending them to the US Department of Homeland Security for further investigation.
While Florida is known as one of the major gateways for illegal drugs coming into the US from traffickers of southern origin, it does make us wonder about the training program for new recruits inside the Space Force.
Could their motto “Semper Supra” which roughly translates to “always above,” also translate to “getting high all the time”? After all, what kind of person straps themself to a 70-ton rocket, lights it on fire, and launches bodily into space?
We’re pretty sure we all know the answer to that one.
We just hope that whatever moon dust is going around the Space Force these days is quality stuff because the only way we’re going to survive an alien invasion is if we get the little green men to party so hard they forget why they were here in the first place.
Thanks to cocaine, it looks like Space Force is actually doing some pretty important work and isn’t just some mock government agency designed to be made fun of by everyone in the galaxy. So, um, where do we sign up?`
Cover Photo: ajr_images (Getty Images)
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