Having a roommate with whom you live in close quarters means that you’ll get to know each other…maybe too well. It’s inevitable that you’ll be privy to the most private details of their life, some of which you’ll wish you didn’t know. Unfortunately, that too-close-for-comfort feeling is mutual. Your roommate has the dirt on you, too. Don’t believe us? Take it from a new study by QS Supplies. It asked 512 Brits and 510 Americans for some real talk regarding cohabitation. Most shocking was what housemates overheard while living together. With coronavirus quarantine in full swing, and no escape from the people we live with for the foreseeable future, these stats are doubly troubling. Check yourself before you mortify yourself. These are the 13 most embarrassing things your roommate has definitely heard you do.
Cover Photo: Darren Robb (Getty Images)
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Embarrassing Things Roommate Heard You Do
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Passing Gas
Everybody farts. Some people just do it more discreetly than others. This was the most common overheard activity, with 42 percent of respondents reporting having heard their housemates let one rip.
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Talking to Themselves
Sometimes you have to give yourself a pep talk. If you've done so, don't assume it's been kept private. Just over 39 percent of people have heard their housemates giving themselves the "go get 'em" speech.
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Singing
We're guessing this occurred in the context of a shower, but then again, why limit your pipes to an underwater concert? We all like to belt a tune out now and then but we feel for our housemates, 35.2 percent of whom have heard us fail to hit those high notes.
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Talking to a Pet
Pets make better listeners than humans, so it's no wonder we talk to them. If you've had a long, deep conversation with one of your fur babies, you're not alone. Over 28 percent of housemates have overheard you pour your heart out to Fido.
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Having an Argument
Conflict is unpleasant, but it happens. Whether it's an argument with your boss, your significant other, or your parents, your housemate has probably eavesdropped on it. Almost 29 percent of respondents reported having heard a housemate's disagreement.
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Crying
Don't hold back your feelings, man. Contrary to popular belief, big boys do cry. Apparently, you're not quiet about it, though, because 25.3 percent of respondents reported that they've heard their housemate cry. Bawl away if you must, but try to keep your outburst on the down-low.
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Having Sex
Yup, your housemate may have heard you getting it on. In this survey, 21.5 percent of respondents reported they had. For your sake, we hope it was good sex. And to those having silent sex? Stop that. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
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Vomiting
Who hasn't had one too many on occasion? The real bummer is when all those beers come back up. Vomiting is pretty hard to do without making a peep; indeed, 19.9 percent of respondents said they'd heard their housemate throw up. We're going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you did so into the toilet, not on the carpet.
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Screaming
WTF? We don't know what grown man has a screaming habit, but we pity the 13.3 percent of respondents who claimed they'd heard their roommates howl. All we can say is there better have been an ax murderer involved.
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Masturbating
We all do it, but do we all have to be so obvious about it? Apparently, some of you are loud and proud about your handiwork. Ten percent of respondents copped to having heard their housemate jerk off. Sadly, there's no amount of soap that'll wash that sound out of their ears.
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Watching Porn
You've heard of headphones, ear buds, and Air Pods, right? Why not try using them and spare your roommate having to overhear your porn? Unintentionally listening to a housemate's preferred brand of smut was an issue reported by 9.6 percent of respondents.
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Breaking Up With Their Partner
Breaking up is hard enough to do without an audience, but 7 percent of survey respondents said they'd been silent witnesses to their housemate dumping their better half. Ouch.
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Cheating on Their Partner
Does hearing your housemate engage in infidelity make you complicit? We won't opine, but empathize with the 2.5 percent of respondents who tattled that they'd heard their housemate stepping out on their partner.
