Ozzy Osbourne Is Single

Like, imagine being married to Sharon Osbourne for 33 years. That doesn’t sound fun. It’s can’t be. Being drunk for 30 of those probably helped, but Ozzy Osbourne is sober now and I guess he realized. 

A source tells E! News that the couple mutually agreed that Ozzy would move out of the house temporarily. In addition, the split has nothing to do with Ozzy’s sobriety. Our insider shared that the rocker has been sober for three and a quarter years and has not touched drugs or alcohol in that time.

He realized he should be banging other people. 

Former X Factor judge Sharon Osborne has dumped hubby Ozzy Osborne after he allegedly cheated on her with a hairdresser, it was reported last night. The 67-year-old Black Sabbath frontman is reported to have had a relationship with Michelle Pugh, 45, a celebrity hairdresser whose clients include Jennifer Lopez and Alicia Silverstone. Sharon is said to have confronted Ozzy telling him she had proof of an affair which she had suspected for some time.

It’s hard to imagine Ozzy Osbourne can still respond to his own name, much less find another place to live. But sticking your penis in strange is a motor skill that never really leaves you. Maybe him and the hairdresser can Zillow and chill. Oh wow that was lame. Damn. Sorry. I’m trying out a new coffee and I’m having a little adjustment period. I appreciate your patience during this transition.

[ h/t Dlisted ]