Christina Aguilera performed at the Billboard Music Awards last night looking like she's finally stopped getting text alerts when Krispy Kreme's "Hot Now" sign lights up. Good for her. And if you're thinking that I'm reducing a woman to how she looks in clothes, very good. Because I am. Mostly because you can't sell millions of albums by dancing around in a bikini in a boxing ring then get fat and say you shouldn't be judged by your weight. You didn't mind being judged in the bikini, so you really can't have it both ways. Unless you're Amber Heard. I hear she's into that.
Christina Aguilera 2013 Billboard Music Awards
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Singer Christina Aguilera performs onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Singer Christina Aguilera performs onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Singer Christina Aguilera performs onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Singer Christina Aguilera performs onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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Musicians Pitbull and Christina Aguilera perform onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 19: Singer Christina Aguilera performs onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 19, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
