Lindsay Is At Betty Ford Now Because She Was About To Get Arrested

 

Since Lindsay can’t bother to do anything a judge tell her without getting threatened with an arrest warrant, the simple act of going to rehab quickly turned into an unmitigated clusterfuck that left her lawyer fired and Lindsay cockblocking any attempt at court-mandated rehab from making sweet love to her. Radar Online reports:

Lindsay went back to rehab last night, and arrived before midnight. Lindsay ISN’T back at Morningside. Her former attorney, Shawn Holley, was officially brought back on the case yesterday after Lindsay was calling her all day Thursday. Shawn was able to convince prosecutors that Lindsay was taking rehab seriously, but her former attorney, Mark Heller, bungled everything,” a source close to Lohan told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Oh, didn’t you know? None of this is Lindsay’s fault of course. Duh, what are you stupid?

Right now, Lindsay is focused on getting better. She wanted the drama to end, and that is why she fired Mark Heller. She was literally telling Shawn she would sell a body part if she would take her on as a client again. Shawn agreed, and Lindsay appreciates everything she has done for her. When Shawn says jump, Lindsay will automatically do so,” the source revealed.

It must be nice going through life with an endless list of people to blame for every fucked up decision you’ve ever made. It’s gonna be even better when Lindsay has a baby and is in court for negligent homcide three months later. “Your honor, how was my client to know that an infant can drink Red Bull? It clearly doesn’t say that on the label. This is just another example of a witch hunt being perpetrated on Ms. Lohan. Why isn’t anyone talking about how she cracked the window for the child while she was at Coachella? How long must the press focus solely on the negative aspects of this case?”

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