Photo: eldadcarin (Getty)
By the looks of things, nothing makes Robert Ahorner cream his shorts quite like the sight of a 12-point buck, sales on Pabst and internet porn.
But according to GazetteXtra, it’s that porn habit that really chapped his wife’s ass earlier this month, and the argument that ensued quickly spun out of control and even got to point where the 57-year-old Elkhorn man threatened to shoot off his cock.
Police said Ahorner and his wife began arguing around 5 p.m. on May 3 after she caught him looking at online smut. He then “grabbed his then-unloaded 9mm semi-automatic pistol, pointed it at his penis and pulled the trigger.”
“If I’m not using it, I might as well shoot it off,” Ahorner allegedly said before he loaded the gun and fired four shots into the floor in an effort to scare his wife.
When police arrived on the scene, Ahorner admitted to pounding a 12-pack of beer on that glorious Wednesday afternoon before pointing a gun at his pecker and threatening to end its life. The entire story is pretty damn crazy, but Wisconsin people would probably tell you the craziest part about it is that it didn’t take place in West Allis.
