Man, how big are the balls on this guy? Or how big were they?
According to BBC News, an Oregon man with stones the size of grapefruits walked into a Portland pet store last Friday and ganked a $200 black pastel ball python by grabbing it out of its tank and shoving it down his pants.
The owner of A to Z Pets said the python was one of her rarest reptiles, and she couldn’t believe the manner in which the man removed it from her store.
“You’ll see him put it in his pants, yuck. Just drops it right in the front,” Christin Bjugan said.
Bjugan hopes that somebody who sees the surveillance footage will recognize the thief and turn him in. Our advice for her is to check in with local hospitals for anybody who might have walked into the emergency room over the weekend asking for a doctor to remove his penis from a snake’s stomach and then reattach it to his body.
If this is what a python can do to a possum, imagine what it might have done to that thief’s manhood: Watch This Python Swallow A Possom Whole Because The Circle Of Life Is An A-Hole
