In all seriousness, this might be the greatest thing that has ever happened in Charlotte.
According to Creative Loafing, Charlotte man Joe Gillespie says one of his “top three nights of all time” unfortunately resulted in two felony charges, for breaking and entering and larceny, after he “borrowed” the local minor league baseball team’s mascot costume and wore it around town.
Gillespie said he and a buddy attended Beerfest on September 19 at BB&T Ballpark, which is also the home to the Charlotte Knights and their mascot Homer the Dragon. The last thing he remembered about that Saturday night was running upstairs to eat some barbecue, but that adventure eventually ended with him passing out in the stairwell.
Beerfest ended around 9 p.m., but nobody noticed Gillespie zonked out on the stairs, and he didn’t come to until 12:30 a.m. Sunday morning. He called his buddy, who, despite losing his friend, had of course made his way to the local Hooters, and the two planned on meeting up.
But before Gillespie left the stadium, he walked past the mascot dressing room and was stunned to find it unlocked. Naturally, he decided to suit up and hit the town as Homer the Dragon, because why the hell not?
“I walked right up into Hooters and my buddy didn’t even know it was me. I was ragin’, dude. I left Hooters and there was a big line at Tilt next door. I just said, ‘Yo man, can I go in?’ The guy said, ‘No,’ and I was like, ‘Dude, you’re not gonna let Homer the fuckin’ mascot into your bar right now? Then he said I could go in. There was nobody on the dance floor. I come sliding in and start getting it. I was doing all the moves you always wanted to try but are too embarrassed to.”
Gillespie’s shenanigans netted him those two felony charges, but it was totally worth it because he also landed three ladies’ phone numbers and “like 20 added chicks” on Facebook.
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