Look, I’m not a fan of the Kia Optima either, but this is ridiculous.
According to UPI, a man who was recently photographed dropping a deuce on a car in Akron is believed to be the same guy who has done it on at least 18 other cars in the area dating back to 2012.
The “serial pooper” was notorious for striking between 5:30 a.m. and 6:30 a.m. in the city’s Castle Homes neighborhood. But thanks to a time lapse camera that was set up by a neighbor who was “fed up with repeatedly cleaning human waste off his vehicle,” his reign of terror might soon be coming to an end.
The “bowel movement bandit” apparently doesn’t seek out a specific brand of vehicle to crap on, but one local resident says that he finds a random parked car and takes a dump on the hood every time.
Police said that if the “mystery dumper” is apprehended, he’ll likely just be charged with criminal mischief, which means there must be no laws on the books in Akron for not properly wiping.
The dude must be loading up on broccoli and leafy greens: Foods That Make You Poop
