Florida Man Tries to Pay Bar Tab With Rock Then Threatens to Blow Up the Place

Actually, depending on the minerals that made up that rock, it might have necessitated change back.

According to Huffington Post, a 24-year-old man was arrested and charged with making bomb threats and a weapon of mass destruction hoax last week after he walked into a Tallahassee bar and threatened to blow up the joint with a briefcase bomb.

Police said Jared Simpson rung up a $10 tab at the 4th Quarter Bar & Grille last Wednesday and attempted to pay for it with a rock. When the bartender informed him that she could not accept the stone as a form of payment, Simpson allegedly threw a ripped-up dollar bill at her and said he would “pay her in other ways.”

Simpson briefly left the bar before returning with a credit card that didn’t work. He then left and returned a short while later wearing a gray suit and carrying a briefcase that he said would kill anybody who went near it.

Simpson then bolted across the street, and the bar was evacuated. When police caught up with Simpson, he said the briefcase contained “maybe a bomb or a baby.” He then started singing a song about being the “rainbow man” and told police he was his own master and only answered to himself.

Maybe it’s just us, but we expected a guy who called himself the “rainbow man” to be way less of a dick.

This dude tried to burn down a bar after slamming ten Jager shots: Florida Man Starts Bar Fire and Punches Old Man After Downing Ten Jager Shots

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