Think your holiday celebrations got out of hand? Think again.
According to Philly.com, a 21-year-old horse jockey named Angel Suarez is in deep crap after a woman in Bensalem caught him jacking off on her apartment porch last Sunday night. As the woman ran to a neighbor’s apartment, Suarez “busted through her sliding glass door, fled outside again by diving out her second-floor bedroom window and then broke into another nearby apartment, where he assaulted two people.”
Luckily for the guy who lived in that apartment (but bad news for Suarez), he had a handgun that was legally registered, and he hit Suarez in the chest with his first shot and in the abdomen with his second. Suarez must have been on some really good shit though because neither shot took him down. Only when police arrived and subdued him did the former “promising” jockey call it quits.
Suarez’s agent thinks his client was on some kind of bath salts or PCP.
You think?
It’s unknown if the woman who caught Suarez punching his clown on her porch was able to determine if the 110-pound soon-to-be former horse jockey was ironically hung like a horse below the belt…
Guys in Pennsylvania sure like to crank it in public: Drunk Man Crashes Into Restaurant Then Gets Out and Masturbates
