The gruesome biker boys of FX are riding off after “Sons of Anarchy” finishes its seventh and final season – that is, if anyone can make it out alive. With the premiere slated for Tuesday, September 9, fans’ knees are knocking at what creator Kurt Sutter has in store for his brutal show’s farewell, and thus, we have some bold predictions of our own. (Warning: previous season spoilers ahead.)
1. The season will open up with Jax writing with a very small pencil in jail or at Tara’s grave.
Sutter may be hard to predict, but he’s also a consistent motherf***er. Whether or not these letters Jax writes to his boys will play a part in the ending is hard to say with all the bloodshed to come, but they do act as narration for the inner turmoil of our antihero. To give a sensitive side to a TV show purely about reckless chaos and murder, these narratives speak of the conflict of good versus evil within President Teller, and every big episode is prefaced with a few minutes of inner dialogue and incredibly small pencils. (Side bet: Jax will spit on a guy after he kills him. No, that’s too easy. He’ll spit on three dead guys in the premiere alone.)
2. Gemma remains in Charming and plays dumb about Tara’s murder.
As far as Jax knows, Gemma knows nothing about Tara’s murder, but don’t expect her to not point a finger anyways. Gemma will likely be the puppeteer who suggests to blame the concurrent club’s squabbles and turf war with the Mayans and Chinese over gun distribution, clearing her as a possible suspect. (Side bet: Gemma says “Jesus Christ” at least six times in the premiere.)
3. Jax and Nero throw down early in the season.
The first person Jax is going to for information will be Nero (Jimmy Smits) after Gemma puts club business as a prime suspect for Tara’s murder (i.e. collateral damage). Now that Jax and Nero are at odds, Jax will look to get information from Nero at any cost or amount of blood necessary. (Side bet: Nero sports a new cardigan. A new line of Jimmy Smits cardigans hits stores the day after the premiere.)
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4. Juice goes on the run.
Many might think Juice would get a pardon for protecting Gemma in the end, but after cleaning up the mess of Tara’s murder, Juice has to hit the road and pretend like he and Gemma were never at the scene. When Jax and Juice finally meet again, expect Juice to play the chicken shit card about saving Gemma to save his own ass. (Side bet: Speaking of asses, Lyla flaunts her perfect one at least once more.)
5. A key character dies immediately.
Juice, but that would be too obvious. Sutter is out for blood this season, and as much as we’d expect it to be someone close to Jax, it’ll be a big non-member to go first. Since Jax recently lost his best friend (Opie) and wife, there would be no shocker to kill off another big member. Consider that Jax might be the one pulling the trigger himself, and as much as you’d expect it to be Juice, that scenario will have a pin in it until later. The death will more likely be someone we wouldn’t expect, perhaps a character around since the beginning, like Marcus Alvarez, neo-nazi Darby or perhaps Nero, if you want to get crazy and watch things pop off. (Side bet: Tig will do the most perverse thing we’ve seen yet, likely involving the return of sexy gender bender, Venus Van Damme.)
6. Somebody will be sodomized in prison.
Whether Jax is in jail for long is hard to say, but the trailer previews Jax giving a beatdown in prison. Hopefully Sutter won’t have Jax getting sodomized, but don’t be surprised if somebody receives an unwelcome ramming behind bars this season. (Side bet: Jax will take breaks from killing people to bang out the beautiful blonde Madam Colette Jane, played by Kim Dickens. She will later offer him an awkward threesome between business partners with old Charlie Barosky.)
7. Jax’s need for vengeance will run the club into the ground.
The last couple seasons have had Jax cleaning up after former President Clay Morrow, but now that Clay is gone, look for Jax to be the one stirring the pot as he searches for retribution for Tara’s death. He will manipulate the club members into returning to guns and drugs – telling them all he cares about is his club – as a selfish excuse for his need to retaliate, which will lead to the club’s demise in the end. (Side bet: There are seven racial slurs hurled toward the rival gangs, all in the first episode.)
8. Unser will be the man to kill Jax, while simultaneously saving his love, Gemma.
It’ll be ironic that the one person everyone has been waiting on to die from cancer will be the man to deliver the final blow. Once former sheriff Wayne Unser realizes for good he has no shot with Gemma, he’ll throw himself into the crossfire when Jax learns the truth about Tara’s murder. He’s a close friend of the club, but more importantly, he is the continued protector of Charming. He was the sheriff once after all. Jax’s death will be poetic, most likely a stabbing involving the little pencils he writes with in his journals. (Side bet: There will be three more good cancer jokes made at Unser’s expense as long as he’s alive, and a bonus cancer joke if/when he dies.)
9. Wendy leaves Charming with the kids.
With everyone dead, the “junkie whore” with a clean conscience is free to take the kids wherever she likes. Drea de Matteo has been added on as a series regular, so expect her relationship with her son to grow while Jax is out killing people. The final scene will feature Wendy and the kids leaving Charming. (Side bet: I changed my mind – Jax’s letters will be stolen from under his bed in the premiere, read by the entire club and published as a collection of short stories. The end.)
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