Granted, the story was originally posted to a Reddit confession board, which at times should be taken as seriously as a Craigslist missed connection, but it’s an unbelievable story nonetheless.
According to Uproxx, a man known only as “cumoncarpet” posted a remarkable story on Reddit’s “Today I F!@*ed Up” confession board Thursday night on how his masturbation technique as a 14-year-old kid unfortunately killed his family’s cat.
The entire story can be read here, but the gist of it is that this guy was punching his clown “like no tomorrow” when he was 14. But instead of using tissue or a Cubs shirt like the rest of us, this guy would splooge onto his bedroom carpet.
At the same time, the family’s 18-year-old cat was having bladder control problems, and this guy’s dad bought a black light to see if the cat was pissing on the carpet. Needless to say, when his dad turned on the black light in his bedroom, there were “50 or so splotches of glowing stains.”
Thinking those stains were cat piss, this guy’s dad put down the family cat, and he did it while this guy was at away at camp.
Poor Fluffy.
Not everybody’s carpet feels like you’re walking on nails: 25 Signs Your Roommate Is Masturbating (Or Just Finished)
