Oregon Campus Police Have an ‘Eat a Bowl of Dicks’ List

A former campus police officer at the University of Oregon says he was forced into filing a lawsuit against the school because nobody would listen to him when he complained to supervisors about mistreatment and misconduct.

Part of that mistreatment? Being exposed to his colleagues’ list of people who should “eat a bowl of dicks.”

According to Huffington Post, the list contains names of celebrities, athletes, and general groups of people who, if campus police had their way, would be forced to eat an entire bowl of schlongs.

James Cleavenger claims he was fired in 2012 because he complained that his lieutenant and other officers on the graveyard shift would bring out the list during pre-shift briefings and add to it throughout the night.

Here are just a few of our favorites from it:

Eli Manning

Mouth breathers

Comcast

.org websites

Eugene City League Softball Umps

Spandex on fat people

Nikki Minaj

Punters

Louie Anderson

Call us crazy, but we’re pretty sure if you put a bowl of dicks in front of Louie Anderson, he really would eat them up.

We may have found a store that actually sells a bowl of dicks: Texas Supermarket Tried to Sell Bull Penis as Human Food

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