Finally, here’s something out of Russia that is crazier than those dashboard camera videos of tanks zipping across the highway or robberies in rush hour traffic.
According to UPI, a 13-year-old Ukrainian boy who stands accused of stealing a cellphone will be treated as an adult in Russian court because of the size of his penis.
The boy is named Tomas, and his Ukrainian documentation indicates that he was 12 at the time of his arrest.
But this is Russia, and because of a dispute over Tomas’ age, Russian prison doctors were allowed to conduct medical examinations of his teeth, as well as his twig and berries. Somehow, the examination concluded that Tomas was somewhere between 16 and 17.
Because Russian law states the age of criminal responsibility is 16, Tomas can now be treated as an adult. He was thrown in a Russian prison and will remain there until his case is reviewed by a regional prison service.
For his sake, let’s hope the news of his huge boom stick is something that the rest of the prisoners don’t find out about.
More fun from Russia: Funny Russian Dash Cam Fight Video Set to ‘Mortal Kombat’ Theme Song