Have you ever thought about how many chain restaurant names kind of sound like sexually transmitted diseases? Of course you have. We all have. But just in case you haven’t (ya weirdo), here are some of the most popular dining establishments in the country inserted into your standard STD conversations.
“We dated for a while but she never wanted to hook up. I found out later it was because her Red Lobster had flared up again.”
“I can’t put it off any longer. I gotta go see a doctor about this Krispy Kreme.”
“Don’t worry about Little Caesars, they clear up after two weeks of ointment. Then you can get right back in the game.”
“Ever since I hooked up with that girl during finals week, it burns when I pee. I think she gave me the Sizzler.”
“It was so gross, dude. I flipped her over and there it was – a giant Cinnabon staring me right in the face.”
“Trust me son, always use protection. No girl wants to date a guy with a Cracker Barrel.”
“She looked great from across the bar but when we got outside and I saw her in the light, I noticed she had two tiny Applebees right above her lip. That’s when I took off.”
“I can’t believe Amy went on Facebook to ask about what medicine works best for a Fuddruckers outbreak.”
“I’m clean, man. I got tested for everything: HIV, HPV, IHOP …”
“I had to end it with Sarah. I found out she had a Jack in the Box.”
