41 Things We Won’t Do Out of Spite

Spite is a wonderful thing. It can turn an everyday, boring activity into a joyous mission to crush your rivals. In the name of spite, here a few things we just refuse to do.

1. Read the “Game of Thrones” books.

2. Go to that one restaurant you keep talking about.

3. Listen to “What the Fox Says.”

4. Watch Downton Abbey.

5. Juice some kale.

6. Get an AIDS test.

7. Know what you mean when you say, “Do you know what I mean?”

8. Love Jennifer Lawrence.

9. See “The Book of Mormon.”

10. Get gay married.

11. Train for a triathlon.

12. Buy a bike and then ride it.

13. Go out for tapas.

14. Embrace soccer.

15. Reply to your email.

16. Agree to disagree.

17. Listen to your story about your dream last night.

18. Switch to the Galaxy.

19. Wipe.

20. Sit through “Gravity.”

21. Have a child.

22. Say “I’m just sayin’.”

23. Snap any chats.

24. “Go Paleo.”

25. Twerk it hard.

26. Beliebe.

27. Talk about my addiction to Candy Crush.

28. Get fingered by Woody Allen.

29. Learn how to pronounce “Sochi.”

30. Meet and/or Greet.

31. Fake the funk on a nasty dunk.

32. Call 911 even though you’re clearly having a heart attack.

33. “Like” your Facebook post about your four-year-old’s “Princess Party.”

34. Spell Wennsday correctly.

35. Visit.

36. Let you finish talking before I start talking even louder.

37. Stop making “fax” jokes.

38. Say the words “Awards Season.”

40. Follow your rules of Hindu-Arabic numerical order.

41. Build a viable online men’s brand by creating shareable content across multiple verticals.

Image via spitefuls.com

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