Passive-Aggressive Holiday Insult Generator

You seem pretty stress free for a guy with no job.|Don’t worry honey, marriage isn’t for everyone.|Third beer already?|How’s that new car I helped you pay for?|In my day we graduated college in four years.|Your face has really filled out since last year.|You look tired.|It’s OK if you ever want to bring a girl to meet the family.|Wasn’t that supposed to be a summer job?|Does someone pay you to do that?|Who knew that an English major would end up unemployable?|Is it laundry day?|By the time I was your age, I had three children already.|Do they even have churches in that big city you live in?|I wish I had the confidence to leave the house wearing that.|Some girls prefer guys with no roommates.|Did you hear your brother got another promotion?|You spend so much time in that bar they should start paying you.|I had no idea sweatpants were popular again.|So glad things are going so good after the DUI.|What if you asked your cousin for a job?|This time of year there’s lots of retail jobs available.|Partial custody means more time to focus on you.|Only three more divorces to go before you catch Liz Taylor.|I’m so jealous of all that free time you have.|I hear you’ve gotten really good at video games.|Trust me, you don’t want all the hassles of owning a home.|Congrats on almost paying off that ’03 Stratus.|It’s great you have those cats to keep you company.|We’ll understand if you don’t have gifts for the family this year.