Future Tech: 10 Provocative Inventions So Weird You Have to Have Them
How do you open a public restroom door without getting poop molecules on your hands? Is there a way to search for buried treasure on a beach walk while double-fisting brewskis? Can your baby also function as a mop? If you’ve ever asked yourself one or more of these questions, you should probably talk to a shrink ASAP. Or, if shopping is your therapy, then we have you covered with this list of provocative inventions.
Some of these inventions are dumb and smart at the same time. Others are so strange you’ll wonder if they’re actually elaborate practical jokes. Whatever you think of them, all these zany gadgets are for sale on an internet near you. Even if you don’t need a 360-degree umbrella or vibrating jeans, don’t you really want them anyway? We review 10 of the most bizarre and provocative inventions you definitely can live without but are probably going to buy anyways.
Cover Photo: Amazon
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The Baby Mop
The Baby Mop lets you clean the floor and violate child labor laws at the same time. This frilled onesie makes your kid into the most expensive and least effective Roomba ever.
Baby Stroller and Scooter Hybrid
The Roller Buggy combines a scooter’s speed with the carrying capacity of a baby stroller, though we wonder if this is such a hot idea. However, if you buy it, you’ll never be late to a play date again!
Beer Belly Fanny Pack
This waist pack turns your dad bod’s spare tire into a convenient secret storage space. While they call it a fanny pack, we think "the tummy tuck" is just a little more apt.
Do you ever leave your laundry in the dryer for hours or days because folding clothes is such a drag? If so, the Foldimate—a compact textile folding machine—will handle this dreary task for you, while also making sure your threads are never wrinkled.
Have you ever wanted a pair of undies that you and your special someone can wear at the same time? Obviously not, but now you can make that dream come true anyways by ordering Fundies, underwear built for two.
This antimicrobial key chain tool is one of the more practical inventions on this list. The little metal hook helps you open doors and use shared surfaces without getting grossness all over your hands, which actually sounds pretty handy right about now.
Metal Detector Sandals
These elegant flip flops with built-in metal detectors let you beachcomb for buried treasure with both hands free. They may look super dorky, but if you’re already into metal detecting as a hobby we have a feeling you stopped caring about that kind of stuff decades ago.
The Fliz combines the worst aspects of bicycles and scooters to create a surprisingly elegant if wholly impractical human-powered transportation device. If you ever worried that you look too manly riding a scooter, then this is the perfect machine for you.
Full Body Umbrella
The full-body umbrella won’t only keep you dry no matter how fierce the storm, but it’s also an easy way to establish your own social distancing personal space bubble. Trust us, if you’re using one of these, no one is going to come anywhere near you.
In what some have dubbed the dumbest smart tech invention ever, these vibrating pants can give you directions and alert you to important messages by shaking what the good lord gave you. Unfortunately, they can’t make you any better of dancer just yet.
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