5 Hypothetical Questions For Doug Benson

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Doug Benson is the incredible stand-up comic behind the movie Super High Me and the new internet talk show Getting Doug With High. On the other hand, I ask hard-hitting interview questions about wormholes, necromancers and impossible bongs. These are 5 hypothetical questions for Doug Benson:

 

One day, an eccentric billionaire calls you up and says, “Doug, I need you to design and oversee the creation of The Most Ridiculous Bong of All-Time.” Money is no object. In fact, he encourages you to spend as much money as possible! What’s one of the ideas you’d pitch him?

I wouldn't mind turning a water slide into a bong.

Maybe I should've smoked a bowl before answering these questions. Hang on a sec. (Hits bowl) Ok, now I'm ready.

 

You’re the host of the awesome Doug Loves Movies podcast. Let’s say your love of movies created a wormhole, allowing you to travel into the fictional world of any film and live there. Which movie universe would you want to visit?

I would live in "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World," because I love Toronto and all of the girls in that movie are cute and it would be fun to get into fights that aren't real.

 

Let’s talk about your hilarious VPN talk show Getting Doug With High. Every episode starts taping around 4:20. If you had the power to push a button and skip ahead in time so it was instantly 4:20, but doing so would ruin a child’s day (in a mundane kid way, like his skateboard breaks or she gets an “F-" on a paper she deserved a “C-” for), how often would you use this ability?

Never. Smoking pot isn't about ruining anybody's day. And not to be anal or anything, but the show starts at 4:15 every Wednesday, not 4:20. We chat for a moment and determine the guest's favorite way to smoke, then we hit it at 4:20 and don't quit it until 5:00. At which point we are quite stoned, and I hope the viewers are too!

 

I noticed all the comedians you’ve had on the show have one thing in common: they’re all alive. If you had a necromancer talent booker, which resurrected comedian would you want to interview and get high with?

That's an easy one: George Carlin. Great comic, great pot smoker.

 

If given the opportunity, which would you rather smoke:

a. The World’s Largest Joint – It’s several feet long and really terrible weed, but smoking it will make you an American Folk Hero.

—OR—

b. The World’s Greatest Joint – It’s the most amazing, mind-blowing weed ever, but you can't tell anyone you smoked it or you’ll immediately die.

I'll go with b because I'm pretty good at keeping secrets. For instance, James Adomian told me recently that he smoked weed once with CNN's Wolf Blitzer, and I haven't told a soul.

 

Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Photo by Robyn Von Swank.